


One Secret Agent

by Wixiany



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Drama, F/M, Hydra, Laura didn't exist when I wrote this, Not Really A Happy Ending, Slow Burn, au-ish, early retired Clint, more POVs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-10
Updated: 2018-07-10
Packaged: 2019-06-08 05:46:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 26,724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15236685
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wixiany/pseuds/Wixiany
Summary: Alexandra was dating James, thinking he was perfect, but everything he had ever told her was a lie. Under a false pretense of a romantic weekend, James took her to his cottage in the middle of woods. One of the Avengers crossed their path and Alex's life took a drastic turn. With so many secrets revealed, will her life be normal ever again?





	1. The Trip

"Were you actually there?" Alex asked, her voice full of disbelief. James had never talked much about his past but to be honest, she was fascinated by his previous job. He was acting all mysterious about it which only added to her undying curiosity.

"Alex, honey, come on! You know, that I can't tell you that." He smiled sweetly at her and gently kissed her on the lips. She could sense he was not going to tell her - it was time to bring in the big guns. She would make him talk.

Alex pulled herself away from him, her long black hair swaying behind her as she suddenly played hard to get. If they were in a relationship, they had to be honest with each other, one way or another. He wouldn't get away with this hiding-my-past crap. After all, who could she tell his secret, which wasn't actually a secret since she already knew that lacked the details, to? Even if she wanted to tell someone, she didn't have many friends. Alex had been a lone wolf ever since she could remember - and her grandma surely wouldn't care. She would be happy for Alex, seeing her in a long-term relationship.

"Oh, come on!" He repeated his plea. "I just can't tell you. There are certain rules and protocols, which I have to follow even though I don't work for S.H.I.E.L.D. anymore. Don't be mad, please?" She knew what he was getting at, but she still refused to budge. Protocols were just an excuse. If she wanted, she could just as easily look it all up on Internet. God knew there was plenty, but hearing his point of view was just so damn fascinating. It was like listening to an action movie plot.

Alexandra mustered the best angry face she could, pretending to be ready to leave. If he was so bent on staying quiet, he could do that alone.

"Alex, sit down. I will tell you. Just sit down." She turned to him, barely managing to conceal her smug smile. He rolled his eyes at her behavior. Ever since they started dating, he had had a hard time telling her no or straight out arguing with her.

She couldn't hold it any longer and laughed at him. James was adorable when he rolled his eyes that way. Alex considered herself lucky for being able to convince him to do anything for her - it was like a talent of sorts.

"Yes, I was there. I've already told you that I've worked for S.H.I.E.L.D., but that is the past and you know pretty well that I can't talk about it nor do I like to talk about it." He tried to avoid the topic, even though he clearly agreed to tell her more. "I- it wasn't nice."

It was his puppy dog eyes that made her reconsider. Maybe facing aliens was a rather unpleasant memory and she was making him relive it. It was selfish. But to her defense, he had never shown any signs of PTSD.

With his beautiful grey-blue eyes so sad and looking to the ground, she stopped her questioning.

Alex put her hand on his shoulder in comforting manner and made small circles with her thumb over his collar bone. She was still mad at his secrecy but she wouldn't push him into it. She hated seeing her boyfriend hurt.

His eyes were her weakness and could make her do things. In an instant, she let the conversation slide and turned to a love sick teenager. It was unfair, no one should be so handsome and she was doomed if he ever used it against her. He knew all too well what would cease her attempts altogether.

"Okay, okay. We can just watch the TV," she said in a harsher tone than she intended and stood up to find remote. James was smart enough not to talk back. Her tone assured him that even if she was so kind to comfort him, she was pissed at his lack of trust. Alex was very curious, something he was well aware of, and considered honesty a great part of her relationships - she would never date a liar. He'd be ready to talk to her about his former job eventually.

"I think The Voice is on tonight." Her attention fully on the television now.

James swiftly stood up, leaving her staring up at him from her position at the couch. He gave her a brief peck on the lips and moved to the door. Alex wasn't surprised to see him go.

"I'll see you tomorrow!"

She muttered 'bye' back, along with some mean remark. He couldn't have heard her since the door was already shut.

It was nothing unusual for James to suddenly make his leave when things were getting a little too tense. Just typical - leaving when a woman was angry.

She'd normally end this kind of relationship but she had always assumed James was a huge supporter of avoiding fights and discussing things calmly instead. It was a blessing in a way, but he avoided the arguments much more often than discussing them. That irritated her slightly, but his vast number of good aspects of personality outweighed it.

XxX

James Mont didn't get it. Why on Earth was Alexandra so curious? Yes, he wondered about things once or twice, but her curiosity was borderline unhealthy.

He made sure that she knew damn well not to ask him about all the S.H.I.E.L.D. crap. But she just kept asking. It was infuriating and making his mission twice as hard. It couldn't continue that way.

He'd have to tell her something eventually - but what if she told someone? S.H.I.E.L.D. would definitely come after him. It'd be hard to hide from them. They still had power, even after that New York and Washington fiasco. And if he wouldn't tell her she might break up with him. Nevertheless, telling her was a risk he had to take. Her trust would be only useful. He'd have her wrapped around his fingers in no time.

James mulled over the information he'd later reveal to her. It was mostly lies and half-truths, but solid enough that she would be content with what he said and would never doubt it.

He was flipping his phone in one hand haphazardly as he pondered the lies over when it started to ring. He immediately glanced at the caller's ID, expecting it to be Alex but the screen was pitch black.

The ringing echoed in his apartment and he quickly realized it was his other phone. The one he secretly used to contact his supervisors.

Claiming that his heart hadn't skipped a beat at the sudden realization would be a lie. The phone hardly ever rang, it couldn't be any good news. It never was.

"Agent James Mont."

"S.H.I.E.L.D. operatives managed to find some classified information. They know you're in New York City. You have to leave, few days tops. Go off the grid, where they won't be able to locate you," the voice on the other side commanded without as much as introduction. It wasn't necessary.

"I understand. Hail Hydra!" James said since he was sure it was the end of the order-giving. These calls were rarely open for discussions.

"Hail Hydra!"

James felt like kicking something. He threw one of the pillows angrily, making it hit his CD collection, breaking few in the process. He growled at the sight, ruffling his hair in exasperation. 'Just perfect,' he couldn't help thinking sarcastically.

His day couldn't get any better. He probably screwed up with Alex earlier and now he had to leave.

As soon as the other agent said he would have to leave, his mind sprung into action. He owned a small cabin, it was simple but he could make it feel cozy.

A plan was already forming in his head. He just needed some ordinary supplies, some wood and blankets. Only problem remaining was what to do with Alex. It was obvious he wouldn't be able to explain a sudden disappearance so she had to go with him. But how to get her there? That was the real question. Telling her without rising any suspicions was essential and he had no time to waste if S.H.I.E.L.D. was hot on his tail.

XxX

Alexandra heard soft but persistent knocking on her door. It was surely James, though why he bothered to knock was beyond her. He knew where she kept her spare keys. She told him once when he got to her apartment and she was left in traffic for two hours because of some car crash.

At least he had proper manners and didn't just barge into stranger's house. That might be considered impolite but would've saved Alex a trip to the door.

Just as she predicted, James was standing in front of her. Alex grinned, she loved being right.

"Hey there ... why are you smiling like that? It's creepy!" James joked, his eyes shining with playfulness. She merely shrugged but continued fleshing her white teeth.

"Alex, stop it. I have a surprise!"

"Well then don't hesitate to enter. I'm curious already!" She allowed him to walk past her and closed the door, while subtly checking his hands for a small box or something. There was none she could see.  
So the surprise must be something he didn't have with him, maybe he booked them some great spa. Very relaxing - she would love that and it would have been just what she needed. He surely wanted to make up for their fight which they had had yesterday, but man, it wouldn't be that easy. She wanted some trust and got a gift - it needed be a good one to help.

"Well... we're going to my cottage, I mean to the nature, to relax a bit... you know."

Her jaw dropped visibly at the bomb thrown her way. Trip to nature? Seriously? Alex had to do everything in her power to close her mouth and play her disdain off to a simple surprise.

She wasn't a big fan of nature and frankly, his idea sounded rather boring. What were they supposed to do there? Alex prayed that he was kidding.

"Nature?" She cringed at her high-pitched voice. "Well, that really is a surprise! But I mean, not necessarily a bad one! But just why would we go there exactly?" Her face contorted as she lied so much it hurt. Alex was an especially bad liar and he must be painfully aware of her deception by now. At least she was trying to ease her horror.

James seemed to think about something for a moment, his eyes drifting to a side. "You mentioned once that you used to camp with your parents, so I thought you would like it."

Alex sighed internally. She brought this on herself. His face was so eager and she dared say he was even nervous about this proposal. The longer she looked at him, the harder it was to say no.

Could it really be that bad? Few days surrounded by woods and wild animals? He was right though, when she was a kid she loved camping. Before her parents died in a car crash, they went for hikes and camped a lot. Her mum had been a scientist and used to explain everything to Alex. She was even more curious back then. She'd show her colorful butterflies and make her listen to all kinds of birds singing - but that was a long time ago.

"And when are we leaving?" At this point, she just smiled.

"Right after lunch."

Wow, Alex though. He was rather enthusiastic about this whole thing. It was almost incredible seeing him so eager. Although, thinking more about it, he was always kind of insistent. He pursued her until she gave up and agreed to a date. One thing led to another and now, they had been dating for about three months.

"Oh, okay, that's soon," her brows furrowed, "and for how long?"

The more they talked, the more confused she got. The abruptness of it all made no sense. Why the rush? Did she make him think she was that mad at him? And since when did he own a cottage? He hadn't mentioned it before.

"Three days. Doesn't that sound just great? Right?" He didn't wait for her answer." I'm going to pack some things. I'll pick you up at 1 p.m. See you then! Love ya'!" He said casually and basically sprinted for the door.

"Love you, too," she muttered to him before he was gone and left her dumbstruck. Everything happened so fast. It was frustrating. She had to go pack something. But what? She reckoned if it'd be cold there and her last words to him completely forgotten. It was the first time they said the l-word to each other. And it was nothing like she expected or wanted it to be.

XxX

James considered his small mission of persuading Alexandra a success. She took it rather well. Not initially, he noted her surprise and following horror but a little stuttering, nervousness and a speck of eagerness and hope and she was his. Everything was great.

The cabin stood in the middle of the forest - for the lack of a more appropriate wording. The road was a dusty one, his car surely a dirty mess. The small building itself was surrounded by thick trees and few bushes here and there. Few other cabins, similar to his own, were scattered in these woods but not a single one was close enough had anything went wrong.

"Welcome to my cottage!" James said as he opened the door with his free hand, the other one holding their bags, to reveal the inside of his cottage. Right in front of them was an old worn out couch and a fireplace in the left corner. He liked the way the kitchen was connected to the living room – if you could call having a single couch a living room. It was right behind the couch and very plain. The grey counters contrasted with the wooden floor and walls. The room was as big as you would expect small cottage to be. Three doors inside led to the bathroom, tiny pantry that could also be a wardrobe and a bedroom. 

"It's... cozy ... and really nice." She appeared at a loss of words. He rolled his eyes when she wasn't looking. Of course she didn't like it here, it was obvious. The few cute pillows and blankets he found could only do so much. Even he hated this place but a safe house couldn't be exactly a mansion. The basic furniture that was inside was just some cheap stuff, but it was enough to live by if he needed to crash there.

"Don't worry honey. There's a fire place inside and some candles, too. We'll be nicely warm and no one will find us here."

What James had really meant was no S.H.I.E.L.D. agents around but it sounded more suggestive than he though so using the opportunity, his free hand slid down to her waist and he kissed her neck. Alex laughed and smacked his hand but made no attempt to move away.

"Can we go inside now?" She looked at him seriously.

"Of course, you must be cold."

"No shit Sherlock!" She grinned at her own words and threw herself on the couch, snuggling into the blankets with a sweet smile. She had no intention of helping him to set the fire place. He invited her to spend a romantic weekend with him and she was making it clear to him.

'Why does she have to be so sarcastic?' He though bitterly as he set down the bags and located the wood. He was trying to play the nice, sweet, romantic, although a little shy boyfriend. He did everything a woman would want from her man and still, it wasn't enough for Alexandra. Pretending to love someone was quite a hard task and her attitude was only making it more difficult. He deserved a freaking Oscar for all this crap.

XxX

"Agent Barton. There's a Hydra agent James Mont hiding in your area. Monitor his actions but be careful, he can't notice you... but you know that... sorry. He's there with his girlfriend... um," a shuffling of papers sounded, "Alexandra Dawson. We don't know if she's Hydra agent as well. We've already sent you all information you'll need. Find out more about her and what is she doing there. After you secure the area, inform us and we will take care of agent Mont," the rookie agent finished, most likely red-faced from the awkward middle of the order. Barton wasn't new in this business, he was able to perform  
a simple mission without the agent telling him not to be seen. That was like Spying 101.

"Copy that." He ended the call. After putting his phone down, he sighed. No matter his and his fellow Avengers' efforts, Hydra was still strong and full of members like Mont. Eliminating their ranks was proving to be harder than any mission he'd ever had. He'd seen many stuff throughout his years, he was brainwashed even, but this? This was something else, he was getting old for this shit.


	2. The Gun

During his life, Clint had been on a lot of missions. This one wasn't special in anyway, nor difficult.

He'd found Mont's cottage fairly easily. It took him little effort to decide which one it was out of the three buildings within the forest - one was his own so that left Clint with two more. The one closer to his own was located deep in the forest, far from the road and civilization. It'd be a perfect safe house for a secret agent or a spy.

As soon as he'd made sure no one would see him coming, he climbed silently a huge, thick oak tree that was perfectly positioned to allow him a proper view of the cottage and Mont had made a critical mistake of not getting curtains.

The leaves provided just enough cover that he could comfortably sit in the tree without branches poking his back making it an ideal place for surveillance. After all, he had always preferred heights.

A few uneventful minutes passed until a raised voice broke the calm silence of nature. He had been peacefully listening to birds chirping and leaves rustling - it was a stark contrast to the traffic he was used to.

Suddenly, a female stormed out of the main entrance and ran straight to the woods. Clint quickly assessed that she was a grown woman, and an especially pissed one.

He ignored the unnecessary information that was flooding his brain. Her dark hair, piercing blue eyes and sharp yet attractive face features weren't useful to his mission - he only needed to remember her basic features to track her if he needed to. He had to remain professional, she was a potential traitor and his target, it made no difference that she was the type of the woman he'd approach at the bar.

On the first glance, she didn't appear to be an agent but he couldn't be sure, at least for the time being as he hadn't checked the database. She could be spy like Natasha, using her good looks as a tactical advantage but her anger was not characteristic of any spy he knew of. He would need some time before he was ready to tell S.H.I.E.L.D. for sure that she was an enemy.

Soon, a tall blonde man ran after her which Clint immediately recognized - James Mont, his target. He had memorized his face from the file. Actually, he had memorized most of the file itself as a preparation for this stake-out.

Mont was a cold-blooded killer with an exceptional track record of successful hits. He was born somewhere in North Carolina, in a small town, according to Clint's research, though he couldn't recall an exact name. What led him to his career path wasn't nice. Years of abuse and a fatal accident that killed Mont's best friend. But the more he read about him, the more Clint doubted it was an accident. He wouldn't put it past Mont to kill a person close to him. He lacked the empathy normal people had that prevented them from killing which made his a perfect candidate for Hydra.

Mont was a real scumbag, but as pleasurable as stabbing him with few arrows would be, he couldn't take him down just yet. There was still a purpose of this - finding out the information through proper surveillance and reporting back to responsible agents, not simple elimination. So Clint watched.

"Jesus, Alex! Come back! Please!" Mont sounded frustrated as he yelled at her retreating form.

He shouted her name and some pleas few more times and went back inside. The woman was nowhere to be seen - at least not from the oak he was nested in.

XxX

"So what do you think, Alex? Can you survive few days in here?" As James was looked at her with eyes full of expectation, his voice tinted with humor, she couldn't find it in herself to be cruel and tell him the blank truth.

She wasn't very fond of the nature, not since her parents died. Camping simply lost its charm. Maybe if her grandma dragged her on trips it'd be different; however, she was always tired and young Alex had always refused to participate in it all, even school trips to nature. The trees and sleeping bags caused her only pain since they brought back happy memories that would never be repeated.

Her memories had made her run from the small town as soon as she turned eighteen and she stayed in New York. Apart from Central Park, there wasn't much green around. The whole city was so different from what she knew which gave her a sense of freedom and new beginning that had overwhelmed her.

If she wished to be surrounded by woods, she would have stayed in her home town. Even her grandmother's house was near the forest. The first line of its trees was just on the edge of the backyard. It had always puzzled Alex there was a small park in the middle of it all. Why would anyone built park when forest was everywhere near? But after the mayor decided to put some swings there and even a fountain, it became a hot spot for young couples and families with kids.

James's cottage wasn't actually that bad - at least not as bad as she had expected it to be. Upon proposing the idea, an image of old, shaggy house with insects and leaking roof had appeared in her mind. 

Much to her surprise, the cottage had outside walls covered in stiff wooden slats, the wooden slats also lined the inside but no chilly breeze reached her as she sat in the living room. She suspected that underneath the wood was a solid brick wall.

She was warm, thanks to the blankets and the fireplace James lit as soon as he had put down their bags. The cottage was fine, nevertheless, she was getting bored. They'd been talking for hours, sporting glasses of wine and laughing. It was enjoyable but they had already exhausted the common topics like movies and her work.

"Yeah, I think I do. It's growing on me and besides, I've already told you that it's nice." Alex replied, hoping it was the right thing to say- and there was truth to her statement. There was no TV, wi-fi or even phone service and she had her doubts about the entertainment she'd get in the cabin, but it wasn't horrific by far.

However, his questions were getting little annoying, not only about how she regarded the cottage, it was like she was the only one talking. It had made her last answer sound like it had had a slightly irritated tone.

"Okay, okay!" He put his hands up in mock surrender. "All I want is my love comfortable, that's it."

Alex almost coughed on her wine - she sure as hell wasn't his love. And what was it with him today? He confessed his true feelings out of nowhere earlier and now she was his love? It flattered Alex, it really did, but they had been dating for only few months and all of sudden he was calling her his love.

"Don't worry, I'm fine, though I wouldn't mind some food." It was best not to dwell or think much about his words. Maybe he didn't even mean to say it or the l-word didn't hold such an importance in his mind. Diverting from the topic was what a coward would do and Alex liked to think she wasn't one, but love was a topic she wasn't ready to talk about.

James, as an answer, stood up, took her hand and led her to the kitchen with him. He let her hand fall back to her side as soon as they crossed those few steps and opened the fridge. While he rummaged through it, deciding on what to cook, Alex leaned her back on the counter and admired the view.

"Well, it seems like we don't have much," he scratched the back of his neck, "but we could make a salad, there are some tomatoes, cucumber, lettuce even. Though having pasta sounds better. There is one package down there." He pointed to the cupboard directly behind her. Alex, concealing her annoyance at him for the lack of supplies and at herself for not thinking about packing any food, spun around, about to retrieve the package.

"Pasta, sure thing. But what are we going to eat for breakfast, or during two following days? I'm not gonna pick berries in the woods," she muttered angrily, but James heard her and laughed breathlessly.

Although she was serious about the berries, corners of her lips rose at the concept and she laughed alongside him, albeit less loudly.

"Oh come on Alex! Stop worrying all the time, frowning doesn't suit you. There's some meat in the freezer. We won't starve any time soon." He said in a gentle voice, not minding her attitude and a smile plastered on his lips. His hands found their way to her hips and he pulled her closer to him.

It caught her by surprise and she almost flinched. James hardly ever touched her so intimately. They were dating just for a while and she didn't want to rush things. They only kissed so far, with some cuddles, but this kind of touching was new.

Alex found herself regretting the slow romance between the two of them. She was starting to like his gentle caresses and the warmth it shot through her body.

Her hands landed on his well-defined chest. He must have spent a great amount of his free time in gym, Alex thought appreciatively as her throat got dry when she realized their closeness. She couldn't stop the image of what was hidden behind that thin layer of clothing. Alex turned crimson red and of course, he noticed exactly that, smirking.

As much as she enjoyed their little play, James was acting strangely. This kind of behavior wasn't what she'd expect of him.

He leaned closer, his breath tickling her ear. She must have been as red as the tomatoes in the fridge at this point.

She was eagerly awaiting what he would whisper to her, or at least she suspected he would do it, though she was left disappointed since he had other ideas.

"Pasta is down there."

Alex smacked him hard, but he only laughed. It was supposed to be romantic! He ruined the moment and she didn't find it as funny as he probably did.

She bent down to locate the package in a shelf where he pointed but as she opened the cupboard door, the world stopped for a brief of second. Alex was suddenly too aware of the cold in the cottage without the blankets wrapped around her tall body and her hands started to shake involuntarily.

A single black gun was lying on top of the plain grey surface, the package she was looking for nowhere. She reached with her hand to the corner of the shelf. The gun was hidden in the shadow. She could barely make out the handle. Her fingers touched its cold surface gingerly.

Why would James need a gun? He was a clerk in a firm, his work didn't need weapons - not anymore.

She held the gun in her open palms. Her eyes didn't leave the thing until she faced James. Her face was ashen and her hands were trembling. She was afraid the gun would go off if she as much as breathed the wrong way.

James was looking for a pot and after he found one of appropriate side, he filled it with water.

"Alex, what's taking you so long?" he asked while he was adjusting the temperature of the stove.

XxX

James turned to Alexandra only to find her face paper white, eyes wide and her hands holding the gun.

He could panic, act on his instinct and charge at her, taking the gun forcefully. It'd be over quickly and she'd barely register him moving. By the time she did, he'd be the one with a gun.

He forgot about it. Not hiding it was a silly mistake for which he'd scold himself for, but later. He had to deal with Alex who was on the verge of panic attack.

How to explain the gun? He had to think fast. All this lying was getting on his nerves, this whole mission was nonsense. It was hard enough to pretend and Alexandra kept surprising him with new challenges every day. But Hydra chose him for this mission. It was different from killing he was used to, but there had to be a reason for it. Part of him was afraid that he was assigned this mission as a punishment for what he did.

He was lucky so far. He got her to come with him, he could make her stay. All it took was some sweet talk, the always caring boyfriend.

During this last three months, James found himself missing his old life more than he anticipated at the start of this mission. Killing people came easy to him.

James decided to simply tell her it was from the old days when he worked for S.H.I.E.L.D., for protection or whatever. That sounded believable enough, she might go for it.

"Please, put the gun down before you hurt someone," he said calmly.

To his dismay, Alex didn't obey and kept looking at him with shock still clear in her eyes.

"Why do you have it? Didn't you say that you don't work for S.H.I.E.L.D. anymore? And there's no one anywhere close. Why would you need it here? You work in cubicle desk! Why the hell ... If you're keeping secrets from me, I swear ..."

James cursed internally. He had never experienced her hysterics before, not to this level anyway. She snapped once when there was a blackout during a finale of some TV show he couldn't recall the name of.

"Jesus, Alex calm down. Every agent has one, it's nothing. I don't even know why it's still here. I guess I forgot about it." He hoped she believed those lies and not ask questions. Good thing she disliked criminal dramas so much, she might have known that as soon as he would leave the work, the gun would have had to be returned.

"Seriously James? Don't even! No one just forgets about a weapon lying around their kitchen. That's- that's dangerous! Fuck. I need to calm down." She pressed a hand to her eyes and after releasing it, she dashed towards the door. He barely noticed how fast she got from one end of the cottage to the other.

His reflexes were fading from the lack of action he got recently - convincing him that he needed to visit some dojo and spar with someone. He ran after her, but she was already meters ahead.

"Jesus," he muttered. "Alex, come back! Please! It's nothing!" She ignored him.

"Alexandra!" He tried again, this time more forcefully. It was getting hard to conceal his anger. She could shot herself effortlessly and he wouldn't be able to explain that to his supervisors. There was no making mistake in Hydra and he'd be treated accordingly.

He wanted to shout at her once again but thought better of it. It'd make the matters worse. If he was lucky, she wouldn't figure out how to pull the safety off.

Alexandra needed few minutes to calm down from her temper. And besides, it was cold outside, she'd soon figure it was better here with him than outside in that kind of weather. He knew that once she took few deep breaths, getting the adrenaline out of her system, she would look at things from another perspective -his- and she would come back.

James returned inside. There was nothing more to be done.

XxX

Clint was about to seize the opportunity that she unintentionally provided him. It was perfect to find out more about the female - have a little chit chat.

He had to do something now before her figure completely disappeared among the trees.

His eyes landed on the gun in her hand and judging by her grip that turned her knuckles white, she had no idea how to wield a weapon.

As if she just noticed the gun herself, she dropped it and looked at her own shaking hands. Her face was horrified. It only confirmed his theory.

Now defenseless, she turned her back to him and strode further into the forest. Another great opportunity.

Clint secured his bow to its holder on his back and without any sound, he climbed the oak and jumped from the lowest branch that was only about five feet up.

He approached her, his steps making no sound as he avoided dry leaves and sticks. He slid the bow from his back with a rapid speed - an action he could do any time with spotless precision.

With a sharp-edged arrow aimed at her back, he spoke up: "Turn around. Slowly."

He said the 'slowly' part with a voice that indicated no arguing but of course, she had to do an exact opposite.

He heard her small yelp as she spun around. If he wasn't a highly trained spy and assassin, Clint might have accidentally released the arrow, killing her in process. However, he didn't get the code name Hawkeye for liking birds. It had come as no surprise to him that she hadn't turned slowly.

"What the ... ?!" She shut her mouth as her eyes traveled from the tip of arrow pointed at her heart to his face. Her own face paled and he could tell she was frightened.

"We need to talk," he said finally, not giving her space to ask questions that would waste his time. Their position was too close to Mont's cottage and he couldn't risk the Hydra agent hearing their conversation.

XxX

"We need to talk." His words resonated in her brain. She didn't want to talk to him or James or anyone else. All she wanted was a minute in complete solitude. Was she asking for too much?

Alex supposed this stranger wouldn't let her go any time soon, for what reasons she could only imagine. She was fairly sure she had never met him, although his overall appearance seemed rather familiar.   
Maybe they had crossed paths in the busy streets of New York.

Many questions swirled in her mind. How did he get there? James said it was only them and the other two cottages were empty and far away. Who on Earth was this man? Why did he seem so familiar? 

Maybe her mind was paying tricks on her.

Alex found herself wishing she still had the gun. She wasn't able to shoot it but he didn't know that, it might have scared him. Now, there was no chance in escaping - not when he was so close and his arrow just inches away from her chest.

'Scream ... James ... he might hear,' her frantic mind provided. She could do that in theory as the cottage wasn't awfully far. Unfortunately, the man would murder her before she as much as finished James' name. By the time James ran out of the house and got to them, she'd be long dead.

There was only one thing to do - follow the man and wait for any kind of opportunity that would get her far away from him.

She stared at him, trying to put a name to that familiar face. His dark blonde hair and sharp eyes told her nothing, but a single glance at his uniform, tactical gear, costume or whatever it was called, did.  
Countless news headlines flashed in front of her eyes as she remembered the name mentioned in every single title. Hawkeye.

It really was him. The resemblance from the countless video shootings was uncanny. It was him in a full set - black bow that could pose as a staff and an equally dark quiver filled with arrows and the black attire with shades of purple on the thick stripes on his muscular chest.

A man who had been brainwashed, fought aliens, an Avenger, was standing in front of her, but Alex didn't see him as a hero he was. No, now, he was her enemy.


	3. The Capture

"He could overhear. We have to move somewhere else," he said with a straight voice. His professionalism and calmness was starting to get to Alex. He had no right to scare her so much with just being polite. In a way, the way he talked - so confident in his actions - scared her more than his bow.

There was only one other person who could possibly listen on to their conversation - James. That confused her more than anything. Weren't an Avenger and S.H.I.E.L.D. agent, albeit former agent, supposed to be allies? She didn't understand what was happening. She didn't want to go with him, Avenger or not.

She'd learn pretty soon apparently for Hawkeye grabbed her upper arm and dragged her to the opposite direction of the cottage. He wasn't pointing his bow at her any more, she had to grasp this chance. It was now or never.

"James!" Alex screamed with all her might. If he had thought she'd let him drag her into the forest, he was very mistaken. She wouldn't cooperate. She wouldn't give up.

"Shit! Shut up!" Alex yelped as he threw his arms around her, the bow out of his hands in seconds. She tried to scream, shout for James, but the man quickly figured she would try it and covered her mouth. He was way stronger than her and pulled her along with himself behind a large tree.

XxX

"James!"

Alexandra? James quickly figured it was her and judging by the fear in her voice, something bad happened.

He dashed through the cottage, not bothering with closing the door. He prayed she hadn't shot herself but then again, he would hear a gun being fired. It must have been something else. What, he had no idea.

His feet led him as he frantically looked from one side to another. He couldn't see her or anyone. He was worried but not because he cared for her. Because he couldn't afford to screw up this mission. He screwed up once and Hydra wasn't known for the third chances.

"Alex, where are you? This is not funny at all!" He had a gut feeling that it wasn't just a silly joke.

If she hadn't found the stupid gun, none of this would happen. Or if she could control her temper.

Whatever happened to her, he would find her. Leaving her alone was not an option. He had to get her back, for the sake of his mission. And he'd do just that, as soon as he found himself a flashlight, coat and another gun he had in his bag. He came prepared for anything. Hopefully, she would survive until then.

XxX

Clint heard the door opening, or to be more precise, banging on the wall from the force. The sound interrupting the silence just seconds after they had hid. It was nothing but a sheer luck that an especially old tree was nearby.

Alexandra tried to escape his grip but he couldn't let go, not now when his target was outside and could spot them.

He had a hard time not letting her go when she bit his finger. She tore his skin open but didn't go too deep. Few droplets of blood trickled to the leather part of his fingerless gloves. Clint rolled his eyes, he had the clothes cleaned not so long ago.

He sprang into action as soon as the door was shut again. Mont was most likely getting his gun and would be after them. If he kept the weapon close, they wouldn't have much time before he was back.

"Don't worry. I won't hurt you, just stay quiet," he told her quickly and resumed dragging her. She wasn't so defiant this time and stopped kicking.

When he heard door and swearing, they were far away. Forest was thicker here so Mont wouldn't hear nor see them.

Alexandra was behaving the whole way to his own cottage, even running when he told her to. They were so close to their final destination when steps echoed not so far into the woods. Mont was quick and efficient.

"C'mon!" he urged her inside. He had left the door unlocked which saved him precious seconds.

He went straight to the small closet near the kitchen. It was positioned so that it wasn't visible from the entrance door. He made Alex crouch on the ground between the shelves packed with dry meat and long lasting tin cans of various meals. He was risking a lot by leaving her not gagged or tied but there was no time.

"Stay absolutely quiet, for your own sake. Whatever happens, don't even sneeze!"

"But ..." He didn't hear what she said as he closed the door abruptly and locked behind him. She couldn't open from inside and if she was smart enough she would stay quiet. If anything happened to him, she would stay locked there.

When she was taken care of, he still needed to get rid of his bow so he stuffed it under a blanket.

There was no spare time to change out of his tactical gear so he pulled an over-sized sweater over his head and stuffed at least the gloves under the blanket with his bow and arrows. Clint imagined he looked ridiculous with the leather pants of his uniform still on.

He quickly added the last touch - thick framed glasses, when he heard a knock on his door. His target.

"Coming," he shouted in a voice that wasn't his own and sounded overly friendly, and hurried to the door.

He hoped she'd remain silent. If not, he didn't dare to think of what would happen then. Mont had a gun, there was no way he didn't if he knew S.H.I.E.L.D. was looking for him. He'd be at an advantage since Clint didn't have time for getting his gun but that didn't mean he wasn't ready. If Mont showed any sign of getting the gun out, since he couldn't carry it openly when visiting neighbor, Clint would punch him in the face. It'd distract him and Clint would have an upper hand.

He opened the door, but not fully. He appeared friendly but little cautious. Had he left the door ajar, it would be suspicious.

"Hello, can I help you?" he asked him politely.

"Sorry for bothering you, but you see, my friend got lost. I'm sure it's nothing, she loves to mess around. But I want to make sure it's just that ... Anyway, have you seen her around by any chance? Tall,   
black hair?" He had, more than that. But of course, that wasn't for Mont to hear. Frankly, he was acting the worry exceptionally well. Had it not been for the fact that Clint was aware Mont was just screwing with him, he'd have believed him.

Clint played along with no problems.

"Sweet god! I hope she's okay. But to answer your question, no. I haven't seen anyone in days. The cottages aren't very close, though if I see her wandering around, I can tell her you're looking for her." He put on a friendly smile, hoping it was enough for the man. From what his file said, Mont wasn't as good a spy as Clint but rather good for killing commandos.

"Thanks man, I'd appreciate that. Again, sorry for bothering." Mont walked away from the door, but his steps were hesitant. Clint saw it in his eyes that he hadn't fooled him entirely. It must have been those leather pants.

"Oh, it's nothing. Well, um, see you around," Clint said with a nonchalant shrug. It sounded like he wanted to end the conversation but was too polite to tell him to just leave. Mont was staring right into his eyes but hadn't recognized Clint. They had never met before since Clint had always been away on missions - travelling the whole world, going where director Fury himself ordered him to.

Mont finally turned and descended the few stairs as he mumbled good bye.

Clint shut the door slowly and carefully, waited for a minute and then checked if Mont was really gone.

When he made sure they were alone, he returned to the small closet. It was time to do what he was sent to do there.

XxX

Alex didn't have much time to think. When the shock from getting locked in a closet passed, the anger hit her with an intensity of a train. The man had the audacity to put her in a damn closet like she was a dog.

So far, he had done only things that made her want James near her and get as far away from the Avenger as possible. She couldn't believe she met one of the heroes everyone talked about and was so disappointed. She would expect better of a man that was supposed to save the day everywhere he went.

Her undying curiosity won over her sudden anger. With some eye-rolling and a chain of silent cussing, Alex actually complied and stayed quiet.

Her obedience didn't do much, she still couldn't hear what was going on in the other side of the house.

Screaming would surely anger the man, she told herself. Claiming she stayed silent because of her curious nature was nothing but a pathetic excuse. She was scared beyond her own comprehension and didn't want to admit it. She wasn't the one in control of her own life and she hated every second of it. She hated how the great hero made her feel.

To fill her time and get her thoughts off her imminent death, she scanned the tiny room she was in. He put her in a food closet. She noted, with a sarcastic laugh, that the man had thrice as much food in here as James had in his place.

Alexandra stayed silent the whole time.

Hawkeye came at last, raising her to her feet like she was some clumsy idiot. She sent him a glare, momentarily forgetting her fear. Her message was loud and clear - she could stand up herself.

"We're finally gonna talk," he explained but Alex didn't bother to answer. He wouldn't let her go if she asked nicely so why waste her energy on the already lost arguments? 

She trailed behind him without words, throwing imaginary daggers at his back. They entered a kitchen in a matter of seconds and he pushed her into one of the chairs by the table that faced each other. 

He wasn't exactly gentle about it, Alex noted scornfully. She put her hands in her lap and stared at them under the table, appearing as willing to talk as she felt.

Alex would rather stand if that meant she could affect the duration of their supposed conversation but she wasn't the one calling shots, so she continued to brood in her seat. There was no way to know how long this would take and she might have ended stuck standing like a fool while he interrogated her. Oh yes, she was positive this 'talk' was an interrogation, at least in her mind. If he, as he so nicely kept repeating, wanted to simply talk, he wouldn't have kidnapped her like she was some god forsaken spy.

He seated himself directly opposite of her and leaned closer, his elbows resting comfortably at the table in front of him. He was staring at her which was making her immensely uncomfortable. She squirmed in her chair. If his silent staring was some kind of interrogation technique, it was working - she'd tell him anything if it made him stop looking at her like that. With his calculating gaze on her, she felt too open and vulnerable. He could probably read her like an open book, with his super training and whatnot.

"How long do you know agent James Mont?" So he wasn't about to bother with formalities and some proper manners. Who cared who he was and why he took her there. Surely not her - the kidnapped woman who didn't need to know a thing about her mysterious kidnapper.

Okay, she was aware of who he was. Alex knew his name and work description, but that wasn't the point.

She brushed his rudeness to the side, actually going over his question. The word that struck her the most was 'agent', she didn't even ponder the personal nature of the questions. 

There was no denying he was talking about James, her boyfriend James. But he must have been mistaken. James wasn't agent anymore, the Avenger's information was wrong.

Alex was confused at the question. James wasn't lying to her, why would he? Hawkeye must be wrong, he just had to. She wasn't about to doubt James because of the tiny mistake the Avenger did. She would make sure he knew what kind of loving and caring man James was. Not an agent. 

She made a plan of answering as long as the questions weren't too personal, but then, a scary idea hit her. What if the next question wasn't so simple? What if she stopped answering? Would he torture her? 

'Jesus, Alex, chill. Everything is fine right now, so breathe,' she scolded herself. One problem at a time. He was probably waiting for an answer.

"Three months." He frowned a bit at her answer. Was it too short for him? She wasn't about to go into details but the two words were a good answer even if short. 

Did he think she was lying? He couldn't think she was lying! Alex started to panic but his next question made her focus.

"Why did you go to that cottage?" She didn't want to keep him waiting this time, so she opened her mouth, but closed them right after. She had never actually thought about it. James said they were going so she assumed it was because of the fight they had had earlier in her flat, but could it really be the reason? That sounded wrong, it was just a tiny argument. He claimed it was just to relax a bit. No particular reason.

She didn't have an answer to this one.

"Well- I-I don't know." He didn't look satisfied so she quickly added: "James said he wanted to go out, relax, so I just went and didn't ask why." Her face turned red with a sudden burst of anger and courage. She crossed her arms defiantly. "Do I need a reason for a relaxing trip?"

"Didn't you find it strange to leave so suddenly? A cottage in the middle of woods, no one and nothing around?" Alex wondered if he realized how ridiculous he had just sounded. James wasn't a serial killer and her life wasn't a horror movie. If James wanted to murder her, she would probably notice during the last three months.

"No," she defended herself stubborn to admit that she was starting to consider it as a little odd even if she had the uttermost trust in James. 

Hawkeye gave her an incredulous look. She just shrugged. Not everyone analyzed everything, like he probably did.

"Tell me everything about Mont." Finally a question she feared. This was too damn personal. Did he seriously demand she told him all she knew about her boyfriend? That was straight out bad and her morals were threatened as she considered an honest answer. In her defense, she liked James but he wasn't here right now, she was. And so was Hawkeye - a man who could easily kill her. Even if James would be angry later, she wasn't sure she would risk her life for him, not yet anyways. 

Too afraid of what he could do to her, Alex had decided to answer all of his questions. Her life was a priority at the moment.

"We haven't been dating all that long. I don't know him perfectly and frankly, I don't know what you want to know." He couldn't have wanted to hear how sweet James could be, but nevertheless, he motioned her to continue. Alex sighed, irritated a little, and leaned into the back of her chair.

"He used to work for S.H.I.E.L.D." With a word shield he tensed. "But he refuses to tell me anything about that." 

His whole posture changed. She hit the nail on the head. This was the stuff he wanted, not their dating history, Alex quickly realized. To her dismay, it was exactly the thing she couldn't talk about since she wasn't lying - she didn't know. 

"Now he works for some company. He never talks about it either. We don't discuss his work." There wasn't much more she knew about James. He was shy, though he surely didn't appear like that when he tried to make her date him. He was rather charming, Alex almost smiled. Almost - she was in a different world now. 

"He was filling some papers in S.H.I.E.L.D., I don't see what the fuss is about. He was in New York during the alien invasion," a pained look crossed Hawkeye's feature, almost making you pity him for the brainwashing stuff he went through, but you couldn't afford to feel sympathy for your kidnapper. The look was gone just as quickly as it appeared anyway. "But he wasn't working, he was on a sick leave."

She shrugged, that was it. Everything. She couldn't recall details for James never talked about it.

"Alexandra, I'm gonna be honest with you here. Listen and don't interrupt me. That's all I'm asking." He waited until she reluctantly nodded. 

"James Mont has never worked for some company, nor did he work for S.H.I.E.L.D., not really."

Alex took a deep breath, he couldn't be joking right now. She opened her mouth to object but he stopped her and carried on.

"Don't interrupt me, please," He glared at her for not listening to the simple rule. "Everything he's ever told you is a lie. Mont is an active agent of Hydra. I presume you've already heard about that nice organization."

She wasn't able to do more than a nod. There was a lot of stuff happening around Hydra and S.H.I.E.L.D., news were filled with it for months. She had heard enough to make a clear picture of what kind of organization it was. Alex was pretty happy far away from that mess in her apartment in New York, instead of Washington.

He noticed her disability to reply, she was too shook to answer, so he resumed talking.

"Some might think you're part of Hydra as well, but you've already proved them wrong. All of Hydra agents know their way around a weapon, you do not. So the only other possibility is that you are a target. Not a special agent and unaware of Mont's plans with you. You know nothing about his current mission." He leaned in closer, waiting for her to destroy his spot on theory

She might have been offended, if not for the shock his words caused her. She dreaded the next thing that would come out of his mouth. Her gut indicating it would be just as bad as what she had learned seconds ago.


	4. The Talk

Alex straight out refused to believe in something so absurd. James was no Hydra agent. He was sweet and caring - everything Hydra stood against from what she had gathered. There was no way James had ever been a part of it and surely wasn't now. She would know. She would.

The mission Hawkeye spoke of - just another delusion. The man wasn't in his right mind. Alex was just an ordinary woman, struggling to find a purpose in this life, nothing note-worthy. Nothing an evil organization would find interesting about a person like her. 

They were dating. Happy and enjoying each other's company. There was no mission involved, it couldn't.

"Who do you think you are, huh? Kidnapping and interrogating me like this? I have my rights, for goodness’s sake!" she hissed at him, red with fury. She was starting to doubt herself and she wasn't ready to put her whole life under microscope. Alex wouldn't let him get any more information out of her.

"Right, how rude of me. I'm Clint Barton."

He outstretched his hand, waiting as if he expected her to shake his hand after everything that went down between them. Like that was happening, Alex sneered in her mind and raised her eyebrow, signaling how ridiculous she found the gesture. 

Hawkeye let his hand drop back to the table, appearing almost embarrassed. With a sigh, he said: "I can be frank if you would prefer, but it's not nice."

"I don't care," Alex said in a barely a whisper, her low voice dripping with venom. That much for being good towards her captor. "Just get it out already." 

"After what happened in DC, agent Mont, along with many others, was revealed to be a part of Hydra. And don't think even for a second that we haven't checked properly," he warned in a serious tone, one could almost feel the loss he suffered at finding out people he worked with, his friends, were traitors. "There's been a problem during his arrest and he fled. We weren't able to track him until recently and so I am here. If not for you, he would be already rotting in prison."

He gave her a minute to process, something Alexandra was eternally grateful for. Her mind was swirling with thoughts and ideas. The turmoil had to calm down before he could bombard her with more stuff. 

The pause wasn't enough for her to answer. She didn't know what she would say anyways. Was he implying she had something to do with his escape? That would mean she was ready to accept James was a traitor. Alex quickly shut her train of thought. It was nonsense. 

"You are the problem. The only thing no one can figure out - who you really are. Alexandra Dawson, as interesting as every other person, no offense. You're from a small town and now renting a flat in New York. The only relative is your grandmother. You switch jobs almost on regular basis ever since moving there. Ranging from assistant to waitress. But what I'm trying to figure out is why you are so important to Hydra. They have sent an agent after you, to fake relationship and gain information. Well, we assume that's the reason why he is here."

Alex stared at him in utter shock, positive that her mouth was as wide as her eyes. She felt tears rising as he finished. How could anyone fake love? Did James? Was all this really happening? Maybe she just fell asleep, curled in blanket, leaning on James' shoulder and this was merely a twisted dream. 

Lately, she was under the impression their relationship would last. James was the first man she could imagine being with - long-term. He was perfect, not just his dashing looks. He had the personality of a puppy. He had always been kind to her and it worked between them like a clockwork. No one could fake that.

Her heart ache at his words, but she refused to listen. If she didn't, it wouldn't be true, right? She would get back to James eventually. He would find her and safe her. It was going to be alright.

What they had - something so beautiful - couldn't be faked even by the best actors or spies. There was nothing special about her that would lure the attention of Hydra. That was explanation enough. She was no one and no one would be interested in her. Besides James. She was lucky to have him and here she was, doubting everything the man ever did or said. 

She was surprised to find how much Hawkeye knew about her, but she assumed he had some kind of file on her, containing her address and name, her grandmother and everything like that. Stuff that might have told him about her but that stuff didn't matter. It provided him with little to no information of who she was, what kind of person was sitting opposite of him. He didn't know the real her and from what she heard, he didn't know James as well. His file was probably similar to hers. 

Feeling more confident than ever thanks to her musings, Alex countered: "And what if I don't believe you? Have you thought of that?"

"I didn't expect you to trust me," he said as if it was the most obvious thing. "It's normal that you need time to process. I don't give a damn, I don't know you. But you don't get a saying in all this, it's the truth, nothing you and I can change." A silence followed. "However stupid it sounds, it is the truth," he added upon seeing her look.

"I still don't believe you, whatever you say, I just won't. I've been with James for long enough and frankly, I don't see a single reason to trust you, a stranger, more than my boyfriend. Especially after you dragged me here," she fumed, now fully convinced James was innocent.

He let out an angry huff and leaned closer in a menacing manner. Alex held her breath.

"Why are you so sure you can trust him, huh? You don't even know why you're in these woods. I bet you know nothing about his family, nothing specific about his job. Have you ever met his friends? How did you first meet? It must have been something inconspicuous. Did he bump into you, opened a door for you or maybe you started working in his favorite diner? Have you had any real fight? I doubt it. He needs you to feel comfortable and cared for. He wouldn't risk his position for a silly argument. What you see as a kind man is a spy tactic to keep you in the dark."

Alex stared at him wide-eyed, not even bothering to hide her expression. How can he say such cruel things to her? James wouldn't do that to her. It was as simple as that. He was her honey.

He was right about one thing, though. James had bumped into her in a subway, started to talk and the rest was history. That meant nothing. With hundreds of thousands people commuting by subway daily, it was nothing out of ordinary.

She couldn't recall meeting his friends but he mentioned Zeke and few others. Did he make them up? That was ridiculous. Being less social is, again, nothing out of ordinary. Alex had a limited number of friends as well and that didn't make her a secret spy or whatever the Avenger was insinuating.

"I. Don't. Believe. You!" Alex snapped with an equally menacing growl. "Let me go, you have no right to hold me here!"

"True, I don't. I'll let you go, but promise me one thing. Don't tell Mont about this and you'll never see me again. Remember what I told you, don't trust him."

"Okay, I won't tell him about you, just leave me alone."

Then, Clint stood up, motioning her to do same. Her heart skipped a beat. He was indeed letting her go. She obliged in an instant, following him to the door. 

He turned around to face her.

"I believe you can find the way back yourself." 

The door, wide-opened for her, invited her. It was as if magic pulled her towards it. The door her only way to freedom and hopefully less drama. Alex happily walked through the threshold, keeping a cautious eye on the man in case he was bluffing. 

He shut the door as soon as she was out and taking the advantage of her solitude, Alexandra broke into run. Her mental map of the forest was vague but with a familiar tree here and there she could make it back to James' cottage.

XxX

Clint watched her disappear through his window. The woman was fast. Adrenaline combined with a primary human instinct to survive could do wonders to humans.

As soon as she was out of his sight, Clint went to retrieve his phone to call his S.H.I.E.L.D. connection.

Dialing a secure line, he waited for the agent to pick up so that he could inform him of the interrogation and his following steps on this mission.

For a second Clint almost laughed at the irony. Alexandra was just as much of his mission as she was of Mont. The only difference was the final goal.

"Hawkeye reporting," he announced himself with his field nickname. It was safer and he insisted on the tradition even if the world knew his name. His only luck was that a man like him was quickly overshadowed by likes of Thor.

"I confirm that Alexandra Dawson is not Hydra agent. The reason of Mont's whereabouts remains unknown. So does his mission. Mont is currently no threat to S.H.I.E.L.D. My safe house might be compromised. Do not interfere nevertheless. I got it."

The other agent demanded details about the interrogation, procedures and stuff Clint had little nerve for. He hated that administrative part of missions. Thank goodness it wasn't his work.

After the call, Clint packed few of his things to take with himself. He couldn't stay there. If Mont had even the tiniest suspicion, he could endanger Clint and he wouldn't let that happen. He was no amateur, he knew when it was time to leave and he also trusted his instincts. It told him to be out of there as soon as possible. He had learned to trust his gut a long time ago. 

He had to follow her, no matter what he had said. Honestly, he had said it only to get her to co-operate. He wasn't so naive to believe she could keep his presence a secret. Not to add, Mont might have not recognized him right away, but he was a trained Hydra operative nonetheless. He could have easily suspect Alexandra.

She couldn't possibly think that Clint would just let her go like that, after everything he had told her. She said herself that she didn't trust him, she might tell Mont. He would see. In all scenarios, he couldn't stay here.

XxX

James sat in the front step of the cottage, anxiously waiting for Alex to show up. She had been out there for a long time. She must have calmed down by now considerably, maybe even forget the gun completely. His fingers were getting cold and he could barely feel his toes. She better come back soon.

After few minutes, she finally appeared, red and panting. What made her run, he could only guess. Channeling his ever-caring boyfriend act, he rose to meet her.

"Alex, are you alright?" he asked with a fake concern. He couldn't be angry now even though he was pissed beyond belief. He had his mission and Hydra was keen on positive results.

She ran the few last meters and threw herself at him. She was repeating how sorry she was for running away, how she liked him and how he would have never hurt nor lie to her. This made him very pleased. Not only did she forget about their previous fight, she liked him even more! He wondered what happened out there, why the sudden emotional outburst... but he had to deal with that later, she wasn't in a right state of mind.

"It's okay, honey. Nothing happened. Come inside otherwise you'll catch a cold and we wouldn't like that, right?" he smiled innocently.

She managed a weak nod and followed him inside. He led her into bathroom and handed her a fresh towel with some clean clothes.

"I don't mean to imply anything, but you could use a shower. I'll prepare something to eat."

XxX

Alex was exhausted after that run. She was right, James would never harm her, how could he, he was a sweetheart. He helped her to shower and even went to cook some food. Not a single cold-hearted Hydra assassin would do that.

She glanced at herself in mirror. Droplets of sweat fell down her neck and her hair was more of a nest if anything. She looked terrible. No wonder the first thing James did was get her to shower. Every muscle in her body ached but the worst part was her mind. Barton didn't hurt her physically, but he just might have. She felt like a train had run her over. What he said, every single lie or truth or whichever it was, left her confused and hurting.

As the hot water slid down her body, she felt more relaxed. It did miracles to her numb muscles. She even gave a thought to what Hawkeye had to say about James. James didn't comment her state. God, that guy was getting the best of her! She shouldn't doubt James and his intentions, just no. That was nonsense. She was being irrational and yet...

No. She would finish the splendid, hot shower, exit bathroom and head straight for James. Every word, sentence, each one of his breaths, she would tell it all to James. She would trust him. She had no reason to do otherwise. It meant breaking the promise but it didn't bother her all that much. To be frank, she promised just to get out of there. 

Thinking about the promise, it occurred to her Barton could have been lying as well. What were the odds that he would believe her and let her go? It was highly unlikely. After all, he was pretty adamant about James' quilt. No matter what would happen tonight, James would be there to protect her.

XxX

James sighed heavily. What was taking her so long? It was just a shower. But then again, women were always slow when it came to beauty and getting ready and stuff like that so he assumed it was nothing out of ordinary. While he waited, James cooked the pasta and some tea. The exact same thing they were about to have earlier. 

While he stirred the pot, many thoughts swirled in his head, just like the pasta in the water. The man in the woods - his supposed neighbor who he had never met. Who was he and why on Earth did his face look so familiar? He could have met him here once or maybe in the city. For so many people and such a huge city, it was a wonder how world could appear so small. The thing that bugged him the most was the leather jeans. Odd fashion choice, but maybe the man had a terrible taste. 

Then, there was always the possibility of it being a secret agent sent to arrest him.

He shook his head. He was too paranoid for his own good. No one but Alexandra knew about his cottage here. No one could find them here. Just to be sure, James would go check it out during the night. Better safe than sorry.

After Alex finally emerged from the bathroom, James handed her the tea.

"You know," she started hesitantly, "out there, I met this guy."

He flinched at her words, going to alert immediately. So the man lied to him, or Alex found the other cottage after he had been there. 

His eyes darkened, his smile falling as he tried to phantom what the two talked about. What if it indeed was some agent sent to get him, or why not make it an Avenger, for goodness' sake! 

James intently waited for her next words, ready to take action if she uttered exactly what he feared.

Some emotion flashed in her eyes. They darted from side to side, not meeting his eyes directly. She was having second thoughts, but it was too late to take it back.

"What a weirdo," she laughed awkwardly, putting her hair behind her ear, "the dude ogled, could you believe it? You sure we're okay here? That dude was nuts!" Alex improved without a stop, talking more confidently with every word. She did good, Alex thought. 

"Yeah, don't worry. You're just fine with me," he said, patting her hand. His face twisted in a strange expression. A grin so unnatural for him, it startled Alex. He looked like a wolf ready for a hunt.

But Alex was too tired to think about it. The entire day was exhausting. What she didn't know, was that James slipped something into her tea. He had to make sure she would fall asleep quickly and remain in that state until he came back. If she were to awake with him not there, Alex would freak out.

XxX

Hawkeye watched them from the spot in the same tree he occupied earlier. Fortunately, it all seemed to work his way. She didn't tell him a thing, though he felt a little offended at what she said. He surely didn't look like he belonged to an asylum. They went to bed. He had some spare time now so he used it to get few things from his own cottage. He should be back high up on that tree when they wake up.

Thinking no harm would come to him when they were asleep was foolish. He had underestimated Mont.

He didn't have time to look for his arrows before. He had a woman to follow and only managed to pack few necessary things. Now, in his full gear, he found the lack of his arrows disturbing.

Some of them fell under the couch. Bent down, he tried to retrieve them. He was so close to reaching the last one. With some effort, he pulled it out and securely put back into his quiver.

"Finally," he muttered with a huff as he stood up. 

"I thought you were familiar."

Clint spun around in an instant. Mont stood in front of him, his gun drawn, aimed straight at his chest.

"The famous archer. I thought you would be taller," Mont shrugged, walking around the room casually. He had the upper hand and he damn well knew it. "Your little chit chat with Alexandra must have gone well. So well, actually, that she flat out lied to me. Makes me wonder what you told her... how I am the big bad Hydra..."

Clint didn't listen to the man. He was too busy looking for something to provide him with a distraction. He had to do something. Quick, before Mont got bored with his own voice.

"Anyways," he sighed theatrically, as if it was tiring to be there. "Looks like the world will lose one of its Avengers today."

Three quick shots echoed in the silent cottage and the world went still.


	5. The Power Inside

Alexandra stood in the middle of a town square, not recognizing the place. It was a late evening, she assumed because the sky was already dark but not dark enough to make out stars.

To her surprise, something soft landed on her cheek and Alex immediately brushed it away - a snowflake. A wide smile erupted on her face as she resisted the childish want to open her mouth and catch another one.

She tried to catch more into her outstretched hand but as they landed on her hand and got caught in her dark blue sweater she found them peculiar. They didn't melt but the temperature was nowhere near freezing. Now that she thought of it, neither were the snowflakes on her skin - they weren't even cold.

Her eyebrows furrowed as she let her hand fall back to her side. Everything was so strange. She turned around to observe her surroundings some more, brushing the wannabe snowflakes from her dark hair.

The town square was sufficiently lit, the darkness of the night not doing anything to her vision. She could see the place perfectly and it still felt odd.

A small fountain placed in the middle, made of reddish bricks with a statue of a big fish... Alex had seen it somewhere before. She soon realized that she had been there before.

The sense of familiarity only increased as her eyes went along the few benches that formed a perfect circle around the fountain, to its right was a playground consisting only of few swings and other things she couldn't recall the name of but knew were great fun to play on. How she knew, Alex wasn't sure but she could imagine herself (albeit considerably younger) running around, using the swings.

It looked like the town square where she had spent countless hours playing and yet it wasn't the same one. The one in her old hometown was intact, unlike this one.

The water trickled down out of the broken mouth of the stone fish, no longer going up as Alex remembered it. The water continued down, filling the fountain and spilling at the big hole in its left side, making a pool of dirty water under the scattered bricks. The benches were missing the backboards and splinters left of its wood laid everywhere on the grass as if some strong force blew them away.

The swings were barely holding, its chains broken. The other playthings tipped over or broken. What had happened?

There was so much destruction around her. The sweetly looking fish with big bulging eyes was cracked and not working, the bench where she had had her first kiss destroyed with nothing but splinters and metal poles remaining.

And the old oaks...

They burned, fire raging at their branches and leaves. A silent tear slid down her face as she watched them die and wither in front of her very own eyes. She couldn't scream or do anything to stop it. The place where she spent her childhood was slowly disappearing in front of her and she was frozen to a spot.

Her line of vision went from the thick trunks to the burnt and broken branches and up and up until she saw the trickle of smoke rising into the dark night, illuminated only by the artificial light of street lamps.

A snowflake landed on the top of her head, among many others already there and another one on her hand. Alex looked at it, really seeing it for the first time. It wasn't even white, instead, it was sickly grey - ash. With a disgusted shriek, Alex hurried to get them off of herself.

As Alex brushed her hair and arms in a frenzy, someone grabbed her forearm forcefully, making her stop. Before she started screaming Alex looked down at the person, calming down instantly upon seeing an older lady.

The panic returned to her shortly as she gazed at the woman's face - a face of a maniac.

She grabbed Alexandra's other arm as well and shook her with a strength Alex couldn't imagine such a frail woman possessing.

"Don't trust him! He is evil! James is evil! Wake up and run!" the woman screamed, her eyes conveying panic and desperation so intense Alex ceased her attempts to free herself.

She shook the shock away. That woman wasn't in her right mind. She spoke of James like she knew him, warning her about him even. 

As the words properly registered in her mind, Alex found determination. She would make this woman let her go and then make a run for it. Far away from this godforsaken place.

With all the force she could muster, Alex pushed the woman, making her release the death grip on her arms and stumble backwards. Alexandra used the opportunity to do as she planned. She turned around and made a run for it.

Only she collided with a strong chest and another pair of hands grabbed hers. She had managed to exchange one captor for the other.

She looked up into the face of the person restricting her and gasped.

James.

It was James but yet it wasn't. He wasn't the caring man she knew any longer. There wasn't an ounce of kindness in his eyes.

Pain contorted her face at the realization, only to be replaced by fear. A fear so big it made her bones ache for an escape.

James face contorted, his features sharpening and his eyes... oh God his beautiful eyes. They turned ruby red and his hair turned the darkest shade of black, rivaling even her dark hair color.

Petrified and with a great horror, Alex watched sharp tips erupt from his skull, twisting and curling in a shape of jet black horns.

She wanted to scream.

"You should've left while you had a chance. Now you are forever mine." His mouth curved into a sick grin.

Her legs trembled, knees giving up and the only thing holding her up was that monster of a man. Alex shut her eyes and at last, she screamed.

Alexandra landed on the floor with a thud, opening her eyes in a flash and almost cried with joy. Her pajamas were drenched with cold sweat, sticking to her body and her eyes stung from all those tears shed but she was awake and back in the cottage.

She let out a huge relieved sigh and laughed. It started off as a silent laughter ending in a full-blown fit where she could hardly breathe. She was shaking uncontrollably.

She thought for a moment that she must have woken James up.

"Shit," she muttered as she scrambled to her feet but the bed was empty.

She slowly walked to the door, his vicious tone still sounding in her mind. She couldn't push the evil grin out of her sight. The sickening feeling didn't leave her even though the nightmare was over.

Alex checked the time before she left the bedroom but it wasn't what she hoped for. It was only four in the morning, meaning that James had no reason to be out of bed. She had to find him.

There was no trace of him inside or outside the cottage. She risked catching a cold going out in nothing but her soaked pajamas but she was getting worried.

Alex wanted to believe the dream was nothing but a wild retelling of her previous day done by her consciousness. It was all that crap Barton had talked about that caused this. And yet Alex felt wrong just thinking of it as crap. James's sudden absence wasn't reassuring her of his innocence.

She felt sick. She couldn't stay there. It was too much and if she stayed she would crumble.

Alex dashed to the bathroom, locking the door even though she was alone. The walls threatened to collapse in on themselves. Alexandra clutched the sink until her knuckles turned white. She reminded herself to breathe.

She washed her face and neck before changing into some dry, warm clothes. She found the keys of James's car and simply took them. It could have been considered a theft but she was way past the point of caring. She had to leave.

All her belongings forgotten, she got into the car and drove off the only road that led from the cottage. There were no tears or regrets. She had to do this for herself. She had to forget all about James and Barton.

Alone in the car... just her and passing trees. It was almost therapeutic. She was finally feeling more relaxed, her mind calm. With a new-found clarity, Alexandra thought back to what had happened. She must have had a full-blown panic attack. Well, there was a first time for everything.

James would be worried and be looking for her but she didn't care. She was selfish and the further she got the better.

Barton and their whole conversation was another thing she was conflicted about. She didn't want to believe a single word he had said but, how couldn't she?

Hydra was real. What happened in Washington was real. Aliens, brainwashing, raging green monsters and gods with hammers were very real. How could she doubt the man so much? It was her relationship with James that shielded her from the truth and Alex wasn't sure she was ready to face it just yet.

She drove for what felt like hours. No one stopped her and so she sped up, eager to get away from the forest once and for all.

She was hungry and needed to pee so she rejoiced with the first signs of civilization. She was only a few miles away from a small town.

Alex parked in front of a supermarket, the spacious parking lot almost empty. She stretched upon exiting the car. Her joints and every muscle in her body protested as she walked around the car, she was so stiff from sitting in one position for that long. James's car was nice but could be hardly called comfortable.

His car. Shit.

Alexandra froze, he could track her because of it. If he was Hydra he could do so effortlessly and if he wasn't, all he needed was a phone app.

She was stupid to believe she could simply run off like that. Nevertheless, she had gotten a head start. It could take some time till he got back to the cottage and realized she wasn't there. It would take him a few hours just to get here once he'd realized.

She rummaged through the car, cursing herself for leaving most of her stuff in the cottage.

She pulled out her handbag with a victorious shout. Thank god she didn't feel the need to take it inside the cottage.

She found about forty dollars inside along with her credit card and ID. She had enough.

Alex left the car, not even bothering to lock it. It was rather mean of her but if it meant getting James off her track, well...

Finding a bus station was easy. The town was basically few main streets with all the essentials in one place and houses on the other side.

Alex couldn't believe her own eyes! It seemed the next bus heading to New York would arrive in just under fifteen minutes. She used that time to buy breakfast and the nice woman even let her use the bathroom after a little persuasion.

She safely arrived in the city without any more issues.

Alexandra Dawson had run away which sound slightly juvenile to say. She was an adult, not an irresponsible teenager. What a way of dealing with one's problems, she couldn't help but think bitterly.

She left because of a stupid dream. It was ridiculous but at the same time so adventurous and different that she couldn't blame herself - she was even excited. Doing something so spontaneous was thrilling.

Alex could head to her apartment, lock the door and watch some stupid tv show she had seen several times but that rush... she wanted to feel so wild and free for just a tad longer. And she didn't want to be found by James and explain everything to him just yet.

She would go home. Her real home, not the cramped apartment. Her mouth watered as she imagined the pie already waiting for her at the house where she grew up. Her grandma always had food and sweets at hand, ready to be eaten.

New York was undoubtedly one of the busiest cities so finding a link to her hometown wasn't an issue. She already knew the number of the bus stop. She had taken that bus countless times before.

Alexandra decided to spice up this little adventure of hers. She would play their game - if there was any. She could pretend she was some spy from a Bond movie.

Alex scouted the area, noticing police officers and cameras. She walked casually but avoided them where possible. It was fun, taking on this persona of a secret agent but Alex felt she wasn't very good at it - dropping the act rather quickly after. Besides, there was nothing much a spy could do in a two-hour-long bus drive.

By the time she started to recognize the small towns they passed, Alexandra had second doubted herself and regretted this whole thing at least four times. What the hell was she doing? It was so selfish and inconsiderate... she just left her boyfriend out there with no car, no note - he probably was worried sick.

But then she thought about the devil incarnate that James always turned into, she just couldn't see her caring James. Combined with everything Barton said... but was it right to run like that, no explanation, no nothing? How was she going to face James if she was wrong?

After she exited the bus, she wanted to head straight to her old house but her feet acted in their own and carried her to the small park, also known as the town's square.

The first thing that struck her was the people. There were mothers with kids, teenagers with schoolbags sitting by the fountain, people enjoying simple morning walks... it was normal. So unlike her nightmare. Undisturbed and peaceful.

The benches were still there, damaged by graffiti and gums... but there. The fountain pumped clear water as usual and the old oaks cast a shadow on kids by the swings. Everything was as it should be.

What had she done?

XxX

James cursed as he glanced at his watch. It was nearly four in the morning meaning he had to get back and quickly.

The drug he put into Alexandra's tea would lose its effect soon and he dreaded what she would do. He wouldn't be so afraid if that damned Avenger hadn't spoken with her. He laid doubts in her pretty little head and that was bad - for James anyway.

He noticed the lack of his car straight away. Fuck. Mont sprinted the remaining way, slapping the door against the wall as he frantically searched for Alex or the keys.

She was gone. She trusted that bastard instead of him. But it didn't matter, the Avenger was dead, rotting in his own cottage.

James had no way of telling when she had left. The sheets were cold, she made no food so the stove was cold as well.

James trashed and kicked in his anger. He underestimated that sly bitch. She managed to run away from him! He was screwed but he needed Hydra's resources to find her.

As predicted, James had to go through a thorough lecture on how to properly do his job. He had to listen for minutes on end to what a complete failure he was. At least Hydra thanked him for killing the Avenger, otherwise, he would have been taken care of. Hydra didn't leave space for screw ups.

After the scolding, the other agent was so kind to inform James of new progress regarding Alexandra's case. They had captured her grandmother and interrogated her. The woman was too old to recover from the torture and unfortunately had died before they got any useful information out of her. She was hell-bent on not spilling her family's secrets and died for it.

James ground his teeth as he listened. Hydra could get to that woman any time so why did he have to spend three months on this stupid mission, pretending to be some love-sick puppy? But well, it seemed his mission had to continue since the interrogator hadn't been careful enough and killed the old woman. James huffed angrily, it was all a waste of time and now Alexandra would be even more suspicious if he managed to find her.

The phone call wasn't absolutely useless, the other agent shed light on few details James had been eager to learn. He was getting somewhere at last.

The data he received on Alexandra's parents was probably the most useful. He had known they were some kind of scientists working on a classified stuff but the information shed more light on this. It seemed that her father had been a science professor while his wife had worked as a doctor.

Her parents' careers still didn't properly explain why Alexandra was his mission since they were both dead until a certain fact was revealed to him - Alexandra had been exposed to whatever substance they had been working on. It suddenly made sense Hydra wanted to keep their eyes on her in case she did something interesting.

So far, Alexandra hadn't shown signs of superpowers or anything remotely unnatural. The whole accident had been classified, besides knowing who was present when it happened. Not even S.H.I.E.L.D. held files about it. Hydra had eliminated the parents, claiming it to be car crash and since the girl was a potential weapon, they let her live.

Meanwhile, another agent had tracked her down from the Hydra base and had sent the intel to James. He laughed at her, it was too easy and that silly attempt to avoid cameras was just pathetic. She was stupid enough to go home. There were only two places Hydra knew to look for her and as predicted, she chose one of them. Silly girl, she thought she could hide from Hydra or him?

No one could, not for long.

XxX

Clint opened his eyes with a start. He clutched his chest as he attempted to catch his breath. He felt his ribs ache under his uniform, the pain only increased as he tried to stand up making him fall back down. 

"Son of a-" he cursed at Mont as he relived the events of a few minutes before. That bastard shot him! Repeatedly. His ribs would bruise and if he was lucky, nothing would be broken. Clint had truly underestimated the Hydra agent.

"Alex..." Clint stood up in an instant. She was a terrible liar and her improvisation sucked. Mont had to be back in his own cottage by now, and Clint could only imagine what he would do to that poor woman... Clint grunted as he picked himself up from the floor and stumbled to get his gun and archery gear. He cursed again at the three new dents in his Kevlar uniform.

Clint could only hope that Alexandra could have left the cottage. She was a feisty woman, she wouldn't go down without a fight, but against men like himself or Mont, she had no chance. She could've been dead by now.

Clint sat atop a branch conveniently placed to allow him to see Mont inside his cottage. The man was clearly angry, throwing things left and right and storming out. Mont hadn't noticed him up there nor his bow aimed at the Hydra agent.

Mont took what looked like a calming breath and crossed his arms. He was waiting for someone or something. Hawkeye was sure there had been a car just hours earlier, which gave him hope that she had left. Smart girl.

Clint let a single arrow fly. It flew through the air, hitting the wooden wall of the cottage, right over Mont's head.

Mont laughed audibly, muttering something along the lines of 'You missed!' but ran to hide nevertheless, unaware of the shooter. The door provided him with little cover meaning Clint could see him clearly.

As if it finally hit him, James paled. A dead person was shooting arrows at him - well, supposedly dead. He had underestimated Hawkeye. He might have been trained well enough to figure out it was indeed Clint and sneak up on him, but thinking he would not wear any protection during a mission was outright stupid.

"I never miss," Clint muttered, annoyed at the man. He earned his code name for a reason.

The arrow in the wall started leaking a pale green substance. It was a knock out gas and Clint was the one with a gas mask. It was a very effective tool. Mont came tumbling to the ground before his mind had even registered the imminent danger.

But killing Mont hadn't been his priority. Apprehending him no matter the state of him was the purpose, but Clint wanted to make sure Alexandra was alright on her own. After all, he had kidnapped her and it was his fault that James was more than ready to kill her.

Recalling the information in her file, Clint suspected she would either return to her apartment or go to her hometown. He decided to check out the hometown first. She wasn't educated in the tactics of staying out off the radar but she would surely think it unwise to simply go to her apartment.

Mont would be asleep for hours. He tied him securely to a tree, just to get back at him for shooting him while sending a message to S.H.E.I.L.D. for someone to pick him up so that he wouldn't escape. Once he was sure everything was finished, he left to find Alexandra.

XxX

Alex was carefully examining her grandmother's house as she was approached the door. A dreadful feeling had settled in her stomach but she couldn't see anything out of place.

She shrugged it off. To her, it was merely a bad feeling and it wouldn't have been the first time her gut had been wrong. She could only hope it was the case this time.

Finding the spare key under a flower pot, as usual, Alex walked up to the door, the key ready in her outstretched arm.

But it seemed she wouldn't be needing it - the door was already ajar.

Alex swallowed the bitter taste in her throat. "Granny? You there?"

No response came from the kitchen or living room so Alex instantly went upstairs to check up there. She was alone, even in the garden was empty.

That was odd but still showed Alex no valid reason to panic. After all, she could be visiting neighbors and forgotten to lock the door - that was plausible. She was an old and frail woman and her mind wasn't what it used to be.

However, something was jamming the door as she tried to close it behind her. Alex cursed and bent down to examine the problem - an envelope.

As she picked it up, she frowned at the date plastered on it. - it was days old. Her granny always picked her mail first thing in the morning.

She was desperately holding the panic back as she found another envelope and newspaper. Alex knew she couldn't freak out. Not now when she needed answers. She needed to find her grandma.

Once the mail was picked up from the floor, she should have been able to close the door but it refused to stay shut.

Alex cursed as she cut her finger on a splinter, the door was broken. What was going on? Alex wanted to stay calm but with Hydra and that freaking Avenger... this couldn't be right.

She dashed for the neighbor's house and then to the other. No one had seen her grandma in days.

Her heart was hammering in her chest. She wasn't used to running and her side hurt as well.

Alex reached the small-town square in record time. A few curious eyes turned to her but she dismissed all the attention.

Scanning the people in the park, she didn't find her grandmother. Her knees threatened to give up as she thought of where else to look.

Alex saw an elderly lady sat by a chess board on the other side of the park, who she recognized as one of grandma's friends from a book club as Alex had helped there in the past. She strolled towards her, regaining her breath.

Out of blue, another woman, not as old as grandma's friend emerged from behind the tree. Alex didn't see her until she stood directly in front of her, worry twisting the woman's face.

Her eyes widened. It couldn't be that crazy woman from her nightmare and yet she was. The resemblance was uncanny until she realized that it was the same woman. How was that possible, Alex didn't know. It was supposed to be just a nightmare, a fiction, a story her mind had conjured. That woman shouldn't be real. And definitely not here. Did that mean... all that destruction... Alex panicked.

"Who are you?" she screamed at the woman, her eyes filling with hot tears as she backed away few steps. "Leave me alone!"

Alex was scared. She didn't want her dream - her deepest fears - to haunt her. It was ridiculous. There was the park, the fountain, the woman. Everything was as it had been in the dream. But there - that was after the destruction and there weren't any people. If it happened now... oh god. What if Alex had to do anything with what followed? Everyone present was in danger.

"I have to leave," Alex turned from the woman.

"Alexandra! No, wait!"

Alex froze as the woman gripped her wrist and turned her around forcefully. Even that damn Avenger treated her with more softness compared to this woman.

"There are things you don't know. What your parents didn't tell you- it was too late. They got rid of them-" she stumbled over her words, speaking too fast for Alex to properly make out everything.

Alex struggled to free herself. "Let go!" She didn't care people were watching them with a twisted curiosity.

"No," the woman paled, releasing her grip and glancing at something behind Alex, "he found you. This can't be happening. Not so soon. Not now."

The woman was panicking, her eyes darting from Alex and behind her but she caught Alex before she turned to face whoever was behind her.

"Listen to me, Alex! I- I'm going to unleash you. There's nothing else I can do to help you. As I say the code - run. Whichever direction, it doesn't matter. But you have to run. Do you understand?" she shook Alex's shoulders, "Alexandra! Do you understand?"

Alex was too dumbfounded to retort back at the nonsense that came out of the woman's mouth. She merely nodded, hearing the words although not fully comprehending their meaning.

"Alexandra," a strong voice boomed from behind her. She wanted to turn toward what had the woman so scared, toward who had called her name.

The woman pulled her in what appeared to be a hug but she just needed to get close. She whispered to Alex: "Kaleiyo Mafan."

"Wha-" Alexandra mumbled but the woman was already sprinting out of the park, glancing back with a fearful expression.

A cramp stopped Alex from investigating more thoroughly. She bent over in pain. She screamed when another wave of agony hit her. Her insides were on fire. Twisting and turning. Something inside her had awoken and wanted to be let out. She fell to her knees.

A face in front of her yanked her from the pain momentarily. Alexandra stared at James, eyes wide. The pain was gone for a split second, overthrown by fright. His face was dark with dirt and so was his hair. No longer fair but dark just like in her nightmare.

She stumbled to her feet, inching away from him. Her scared mind didn't let her think. She had to get away.

"Alex! Get down!" Another voice shouted. She didn't see who it belonged to but complied. She had no choice in that matter. The pain returned and she could no longer keep standing. She put her hands over her head. She didn't know what was happening and wanted to protect herself somehow.

An arrow flew above her head, it must have been Hawkeye. Her mind registered him briefly. She couldn't focus. If he was there, she might just survive this. He would know what to do, he may have an idea of what was going on.

James wasn't in front of her. Probably hiding somewhere. She didn't care. Not now. She couldn't stand the sight of him.

The pain left as abruptly as it came. Alexandra stood up with a blank face. She didn't feel anything. The thing inside her, it had awoken. A missing piece of her had returned.

The relieving silence didn't last long. The pain was only the first step it seemed. It was physical but her mind was untouched. That changed now as every emotion she had ever felt swirled in her head. Alex screamed at the top of her lungs.

The emotions were spiraling rapidly. Love and jealousy. Sadness and happiness. Contempt and adoration. And so much more. It was overwhelming, she couldn't take it. She needed to burst. To let it out.

She did.

A wave of pulsating blue energy shot from her. It destroyed everything in its wake. It hit everything and left it dead, damaged or burning.

Alexandra, on her knees, felt the pain subsiding. It was calming down. She slowly stood up to face what she did. The picture in front of her made her tremble. She almost fell to her knees again at the sight.


	6. The Dream

Her own body was intact. That much she registered but couldn't care less. Not with the carnage that was around her in every direction. But what troubled her more the death she could not escape from.

The park now mirrored her nightmare to the tiniest detail.

The ash was flowing around her and a twisted idea crossed her mind - at a first glance it looked no different from a snowy evening. Her fingers itched to catch the snowflakes like she was a child but she couldn't. Not because it wasn't snow but because she was frozen, her body unable to move.

Among the bodies sprawled all over the burning grass that were slowly being covered by the flying ash, Alex immediately recognized James. He was unconscious and seemed otherwise unharmed, except for the few scratches on his face but there was a heavy-looking log crushing his right leg. The woman next to him had not been so lucky.

Alex sobbed as she took a step closer but didn't dare touch the body of the woman - her limbs were twisted in unnatural angles. Alex couldn't stand to look at what she did and averted her eyes before she started puking.

The woman was dead and it was Alex who killed her.

More people were lying around her but she couldn't tell if they were dead or not from where she stood. There were nasty burns that covered most of them but Alex couldn't believe that it was it enough to kill them. Only seconds later had she emptied her stomach. How was she supposed to live with this, with herself, knowing it was her fault?

She should have listened and just run as the woman told her to do. Alexandra briefly wondered if she was lying there somewhere among the rest of the dead. But that wasn't the only question on her mind. Where was her grandmother? Who was James, really? And most importantly, who was she? Or more accurately, what was she?

She should have run like she always did. Run like she did from this little town as soon as she was old enough. Run like she had from job to job whenever a minor inconvenience had occurred. Run like she had when it was no longer clear if she could trust James or not. She was a runner and the one time she hadn't stayed true to herself, she caused... Alex couldn't think about it without throwing up again.

She wiped her mouth and did what she should have - run. Away from the bodies, from what she did, hoping that if she managed to get as far away as possible, the truth wouldn't hunt her down and destroy whatever was left of her life. If she couldn't see the damage, maybe the feelings would fade.

Tears sprung to her eyes as she tripped on someone's leg. She didn't look down and continued forward. Staying was the worst she could do, not only to herself but to others. What the thing inside her awakened? She had no idea what was happening. She was a danger to everyone around her. Alex needed to go.

Her family was gone. The last one was her grandmother, her dear old granny. Alex wasn't so naive to think her grandmother was alive. Not when the Hydra was undoubtedly behind everything. Barton's words... they felt real now. It hurt to admit it but she was all alone with nothing tying her to this small town.

Soon enough the authorities would figure out it was her. They would hunt her down as if she was some kind of terrorist. In a sense, she was worse. She was unpredictable and could explode anywhere at any time. Not consciously, but it could happen nonetheless and the lack of her consent wouldn't stop her power.

James had traced her and so had Hawkeye. Alexandra realized with a sudden rush of panic - she was terrible at hiding. Going to any city was out of question. She couldn't use any public transport nor credit card. She had little to no money on herself and no plan.

She stumbled into the trees lining the road out of her hometown, the only place where she knew there were no cameras and prying eyes. If she had any chance of getting away, it was through the dense forest. She knew her way around there but stumbling blindly around wasn't a stellar plan. Maybe she hoped to find some kind of shelter or... she wasn't so sure anymore. Nothing really made sense. Not since she found that gun in James's cottage. A little thing. She might not have found it; how different things would be now.

Alex was exhausted. She had been traveling for hours, going wherever her feet carried her. She needed to take a break and so she stopped, resting her hand on the trunk of a tree and wiping the sweat off her forehead with the other one.

Alex leaned on the tree but her legs gave out under her and she buckled to the ground. Her labored breath only sped up as the event of the day dawned on her. Forgetting was easy when she run among the trees, dodging the branches - but now, there was nothing to take her mind of off the truth.

Deprived of any will to continue, Alex cried herself to sleep. Not caring about the wildlife or anything else that could hurt her. She welcomed the nothingness and darkness of sleep with open arms. The only time she would be completely free of every single feeling - or so she thought.

Her sleep was restless as she tossed around on the hard ground. The horrifying events of the day resulted in confusing dreams, but they lacked the death she could still feel in her soul. These dreams were different in nature, not just nightmares. They felt too real to be a simple creation of her imagination. More like suppressed memories from deep within her mind fighting to be let out but suddenly there were flashes of events.

Flashes of things that had happened very long ago.

A small girl that couldn't be more than seven years old with dark hair in pigtails was playing with a stuffed dinosaur. It must have been her favorite toy for she carried it everywhere she went. She was laughing as she ran around, waving the toy behind her. She was running everywhere, running and running, never stopping to take a break.

The girl was alone, no one was watching her. Letting her go wherever she wanted was dangerous, especially when the child ended up in a lab. She was too young to realize that a laboratory was no place for children and games.

She bumped into the table, causing the instruments on it to clatter but the force was not strong enough to actually do anything so the girl continued play.

The green dinosaur slipped from her hand, flying up and hitting a vial of a dangerous looking red substance. It shook at the force but the dinosaur stopped it form falling. The toy stayed there, stuck on the tall shelf.

The girl pouted and a frown adorned her face. It was her favorite toy and she wouldn't let it stuck somewhere on a shelf - she wanted it back.

With confidence shining in her eyes, she tried to retrieve it. She jumped, stood on her tip toes, but nothing seemed to do the trick. The child gripped the metal side of the shelf and reached out with her little hand. She snatched the dinosaur by his tail but in the process of pulling it down, the vial broke free and fell, which she was too slow to dodge.

It spilled and the glass vial hit her head, making her lose her footing and fall as well. The substance was all over her hair and streamed down her face. She swallowed and breathed it in, unable to stop it. She was left crying on the ground with no one around to hear her. She was screaming as the substance burned her from inside but there was still no one to help.

Suddenly, the girl was sitting on a high bed, her legs dangling in the air. She was alright. There were no burns on her face or hands. She was alone again but could see an adult behind the glass wall. She watched them argue with her red puffy eyes, still sore from all the crying. They were arguing about her, she knew from the worried glances they occasionally threw her way. She hugged the stuffed toy more tightly.

The girl appeared again, her hair few inches longer. She was smiling up at her mother, showing her the new trick she had learned by herself. She opened her hand, only there was something unusual inside - a blue ball of energy, not more than two inches in diameter, dancing on her palm. Her mother didn't return her smile.

The child was dangerous. A weapon. A ticking time bomb. She possessed a power too great to be taken lightly. Whenever she got angry, things burned. When she was happy, everything lit up as if to share her joy. But when she got scared, she became the most dangerous. The power was a burden - a burden not suited for a child.

She was sitting on a bed yet again, but her feet were almost touching the ground now. Her parents were by her side but none of them touched her hand or stroked her hair. They stood a little farther from the bed, out of reach. Their faces seemed soothing but there was fear in their eyes. They weren't scared for their daughter, they were scared of her.

Their sweet talk did nothing to ease the girl. She was terrified. Why wouldn't her mother hold her hand? They only talked about buying her toys and everything she ever wanted but they offered her no comfort and as the men in white coats came to collect her, her parents only stood watching.

The girl fought tears as her hands were strapped into the weird looking chair where she was placed. She asked what was going on but the doctors didn't answer. She started begging for her parents but they weren't there. She couldn't see them behind the closed door. The tears now streaked down her face which alarmed the doctors. They hurried in securing her to the chair so the procedure could begin. All of them prayed the girl would stay calm enough. They couldn't afford for her to lose her temper and unleash her power when they were so close.

She was engulfed in dark as something was put in front of her to cover her vision. Pain hit soon after. She screamed, screamed for her parents to help her. For her mummy to get her out, unaware that this was their doing. They had recognized how dangerous she was to everyone and had done what they had to. The girl heard a woman repeating some words to her before she lost her conscious.

Alexandra woke up in the forest, the shadow of tears on her face and a muffled scream still in her throat. She was momentarily confused but it quickly passed. She couldn't so easily forget what had happened.

She forced her mind to calm down. Alex needed to collect her thoughts. She knew the dream had been memories and the girl - it was her. How she didn't remember something so significant was beyond her. Alex could only assume it must have been the procedure that blocked her memories as well as the power within her - the events of the previous day must have awakened both.  
The female voice at the end of her dream was familiar. She had heard it somewhere before. It didn't take her long to figure out where - the crazy woman in the park. The woman had known her parents and was most likely telling the truth - Hydra murdered them and it was most likely because of Alexandra. The sudden realization only added to her despair. The only person who could tell her more was the woman she considered crazy and probably dead by now.

The flashes of memory in her dream had helped her find some sense in how she acquired her powers but it wasn't enough. Alex felt like everyone she ever met was lying to her. Her grandmother must have known about all of it and chose to never tell her. James... did he really lie to her about everything? Was she so stupid and lonely that she fell for his sweet boyfriend act? She was, but no more.

There was one person who never lied to her. Someone who told her the ugly truth even if it hurt her greatly. Clint Barton. He was a man with a load of experience in things weird and unnatural. He knew gods and green monsters. He might just be able to help her, that was if he was still alive after what she had done.


	7. The Training

Clint cursed under his breath. She did the stupid thing he was expecting her to but it still made him a little angry. She should have known better. Returning to that small town was very, very stupid. She would be an easy target, or so he thought.

He got there before she did, found her grandmother's house, all trashed. It was undoubtedly Hydra's work and happened a while back. Maybe even a week ago, judging by the dust on the floor and the pile of mail by the door.

He left the house after making sure there were no Hydra operatives inside or anywhere close waiting for her. She was bound to come any minute and so he found a spot from where he could observe. She was clear enough about not wanting to see him. He wouldn't disturb her but he still could make sure she was doing just fine. He let her do her thing for now.

She came as he expected and then talked to few people, likely seeking her grandmother. He felt sorry for her. The last member of her family was probably dead. She went to the town square where there was a small park. When he had arrived at the town, there wasn't much of importance, no bigger buildings or shops. He assumed she was going to the park. He gave her few minutes before following. There was nothing out of ordinary just yet.

As he neared the park, hiding in the shadows so no one would notice the bow sticking out of his back, he saw someone making their way to Alex who was talking to a strange woman. He didn't recognize him at first, the man's hair was dirty, but it was Mont.

Alexandra hadn't spotted him, she couldn't have for the woman was clutching her arms and shouting something at her. Clint acted instinctively. He stepped out of the shadow of the building, the bow in his hand. He wanted to fire at Mont at once but there were too many people. He couldn't open fire into the crowd without hitting any civilian.

Mont reached her first. Alexandra was already on the ground when he finally got the clean shot. "Alex! Get down!"

The arrow hit its target. Mont cursed at the arrow embedded in his shoulder and run for cover, leaving Alexandra on her knees. People around started running and screaming. It was a full out panic.

Something stopped Clint in getting closer. Alexandra wasn't hurt physically. There was no base for her behavior and yet something was awfully wrong with her. She twisted in pain and struggled with something within her. He had witnessed a similar thing in a friend of his. That fight for control that couldn't be won.

He took a step back and then another one until he was out of her range. She was about to do something. "Run! Get out! Get out!" he screamed for anyone who was still around and threw himself behind a car, the closest thing that could shield him.

He did so just in time. The last thing he saw was a blinding light. The force shattered the windows of the car, sending the glass pouring over all over him. The shock wave that accompanied the explosion sent him into unconsciousness.

He regained himself after few minutes. He had been far enough from the explosion. He couldn't help cursing his luck - it was always him who ended up with freaks. Poor Clint couldn't understand why. He was merely a man with a talent for shooting, nothing more.

His body was sore so he simply laid there for a while until his head stopped spinning. He had been on many missions, some more dangerous than others. He had been injured, shot, brainwashed but not always did he experience so much shit in one day. It made him wonder what he would see as soon as he got his head to stop swimming.

The air smelled, he quickly observed. It smelled like burning meat. Like a lot of things burnt, not just flesh. Wood, plaster, a lot of stuff burned. The one good thing he noticed among the bodies was that none was Alexandra's and one was Mont's. Maybe his day wouldn't be so bad after all.

Alexandra was gone and he would deal with her and that newly discovered power inside her but first, he needed to take care of the mess she left behind. Finding her would be the easier part.

Mont was still breathing and so were few others. Clint had to call for backup. This was too much to handle on his own. He had no trouble admitting that he was way over his head with this one. A demolished park, still burning with civilians' bodies all over. He needed all the help he could get.

S.H.I.E.L.D. arrived within an hour and took care of the already present authorities. Clint let his fellow agents arrest Mont. His mission was over now that Mont was apprehended. Although he had a feeling new one was waiting for him. Someone was bound to be sent after Alexandra. She posed a too big danger to herself and others to be left wandering alone.

He wasn't assigned to Alexandra's case, in fact the director thought it wise to finally grant him the much-needed leave. Clint got what he wanted, a time off. He was getting old for all this crap with superpowers and aliens. He had had enough to last him a lifetime.

So he found a house and enjoyed his life as a normal guy. No more spying and secret missions. He got to be Clint Barton for a while, not Hawkeye.

It worked for few weeks. He drank coffee in the morning, read the newspapers. He was relaxing but couldn't stay still for more than few hours. He needed action. He tried to relax and be just a civilian but it wasn't him. He had extraordinary in his blood, it was impossible to ignore. The world still needed Hawkeye. It was time to go back.

It had been weeks since Alexandra was last spotted in the park. S.H.I.E.L.D. made no progress in the matter whatsoever. Somehow she found a way to hide from their ever-seeking eyes.

Another dead end. Clint had been trying to find her for a long time and it was proving more difficult with every day. Each dead end he hit meant more time for her to move, to disappear. She had had a too big head start.

He was getting tired of chasing the trails she had left behind only to discover they lead nowhere. He was running out of idea. Maybe a coffee break was what he needed. If he could just not think for a second, an idea might pop in his mind.

He parked the car in some town he hadn't even known the name of. He had passed a nice looking cafe a while back, he could walk the small distance. The streets were mostly empty at the evening. No one to accidentally recognize him, that was good.

He entered the cafe with a content smile. It was warm inside and smelled of a freshly brewed coffee and some cake. He could treat himself to a slice of that as well.

Clint found a seat in the back, facing the door and most of the windows. He could see the whole place from the table he chose. He wasn't expecting trouble but he knew better. He was always prepared. He set his coat aside and patiently waited for a waitress to take his order.

It was taking longer than expected in a nearly deserted cafe but since it he wouldn't be surprised if there was just one person in charge. The town and the cafe itself was rather small, if there was just one employee they could easily get caught up in some work. He occupied his time by staring out of the window, watching the passing cars. He hadn't noticed a woman approaching.

"Good evening, sir. What can I get y-" the monotone voice came to a halt. Clint looked up only to be met with more than familiar eyes.

He was lost for words. Of all the places where he could find her...

Her hair was cut short and dyed blond but the texture remained. It still flew to her shoulders in straight strands. It was undoubtedly her.

They stared at each other for quite some time until her dumbfounded expression changed to one of a fury. "I've been looking for you everywhere!" she accused, not missing a beat.

"Do you have any idea how hard it is to find a retired spy?!"

"Me? You've been looking for me?" he stood up, "I've been looking for you!"

Few heads turned to them when they raised their voices. Clint aimed his angry glare at the people, making them return to their drinks in an instant. But the unwanted attention told him that it would be best to lower his voice. He didn't want anyone overhearing what they shouldn't.

"Well you found me." Alex crossed her arms and sat down opposite of him. "I need help, I- I don't know what it is, this thing inside me. I just- I don't know where to even start looking for answers and the control... I can't even hope to control it on my own. You have to help me."

He regarded her for a second. Her anger left as quickly as it came. She was desperate for help.

"You know I'm no scientist, right? I might have some experience with, erm, gifted individuals, but that hardly makes me an expert," he said slowly.

"Still, you know more than I do. Please, I don't have anyone else to turn to."

Her expression saddened. Clint raised his eyebrows in a silent question.

"How many?" she asked, her voice barely audible and eyes cast to the ground. It wasn't difficult to understand what she meant. He decided that the truth was the best option. She was a grown up woman, she could handle it even if it hurt.

"Four dead, six injured. It wasn't all bad, you helped us put Mont away." He hoped that maybe the last bit would cheer her up a little. They were able to arrest him because she knocked him out, who knew how long he would be slipping through their fingers were it not for her.

Alex continued staring at her hands under the table. Clint sighed and leaned closer. "Look, I know how hard it is, especially the first time, but it wasn't your fault. That's what you need to focus at, okay? It wasn't your fault. I've seen the whole thing. Even if you ran, you wouldn't get out of the park or the town fast enough."

"Does it really matter? If it was my fault or not? That doesn't change the fact that others are dead or injured and I walked out of there without even a scratch. How do I just move on from this?" Her voice broke at the end.

"You don't, it never leaves you," Clint told her sincerely. He had killed people before and it didn't matter if they were good or bad or if it was self-defense, taking a human life had a toll on the mind.   
Alexandra had killed innocents and it was a burden she would have to carry for the rest of her life. With time, the feelings might fade but they would never fully disappear.

XxX

Clint never got to drink his coffee. He hadn't felt particularly sad about it though, when the whole purpose was to let his mind settle and for an idea to pop up. Now that Alex was sitting next to him in the driver's seat, he didn't need any ideas. He had finally found her.

They drove back to her house. Clint applauded the choice of the particular location. It was close enough to a town where she worked and could get the necessities, but there was no one unwanted wandering around. Even the road wasn't that far in case she needed a quick escape. She had learned a lot during the past few weeks.

"Tell me, what do you know about this power of yours so far?" he asked after they both exited the car and headed for the small house.

"There's not really that much. I remember some stuff. When I was younger, I was in caused an accident in my parents' lab, I think. It's not very clear. I started burning things and so they blocked it somehow. That woman in the park, she knew them, she was there as one of the doctors. Is she- Is she one of the dead?"

He scratched his head, that wasn't an answer he was hoping for. "Yes, she was. I'm sorry."

She shrugged her shoulder. "I didn't know her, none of those people. You shouldn't say sorry, I'm just the person who killed them."

"Alex, I didn't mean it like that."

"Yeah, whatever."

Seeing that he wouldn't win this argument, he changed the topic. "What can you tell me about the power itself? How you acquired it is only a small part."

"I burn things but it's not fire. Not the usual kind anyways. It's more of an energy. I don't know. This is stupid!"

"C'mon, Alexandra, focus. What makes you use it?"

"Nothing! I'm not using it!" She got defensive, but Clint continued. He wanted her to show him but doubted she would be able to do so without anything fueling her.

"There must be something. Why did your parents block it? Why would they do something like that to you? Did they fear you? And Mont, how did it made you feel when he showed up? How do you feel Alexandra?"

"I was angry and terrified. I am angry and terrified! They had no right, none of them. It shouldn't have happened in the first time! If they hadn't been working all the time they would have noticed. But they didn't. They never saw! Never, until I became their work!"

Clint took a step back as she began to emit a bright blue light. It came from her hands. "That's it Alex. You are angry, furious. Now channel that anger. Send it down to your hands. Imagine that bubbling rage forming into something. Can you do that, Alex?"

She screamed as the hot tears streamed down her face, but she opened her eyes and stared at her hands. An energy, bright blue, run down her hands like a living snake, forming into a ball with the light streaks spinning in knots inside of it.

She watched with awe and broke into a fit of laughter. It was happening. She was doing that. The realization of what she held in her hands hit her. It was dangerous and she panicked. "Oh God! What do I do? What do I do with it?!" she shouted at Clint for help. Her panic only rose when she noticed he was standing quite far from her. He didn't trust her to control it.

With a yelp, she let the energy escape out of her hold. It hit the tree just inches away from Clint. He threw himself to the side as soon as he had seen the control slip from her. It started to burn but she quickly put down the fire before it did any permanent damage.

"Well, that's something," Clint observed as he pushed himself off the ground.

"Something? What the hell, man?" Alex angrily marched towards him. She smacked his chest with a pointed finger as soon as he got up. "You. Got. To. Be. Kidding. Me! I needed your help and all I did was almost hurt you! I need help!" She continued pushing him desperately until Clint caught her hands, stopping her vain attempt at hurting him.

"It is something, you see why? Because we now know how to trigger it and so you can learn how to call it at will or how to avoid it. We will understand it at time. All we need is some time. We're just beginning," he spoke to her soothingly, holding her as the emotions she had been suppressing for weeks came to live. She had no one to turn to with her troubles, no one to speak it. The guilt and the power, it must have been a torture to bear it alone for so long.

"We will find a way." His voice was steady as he said it. He sounded sure and encouraging but she knew it was just a mask he put up for her. He had no real idea how to help her. He was coming up with this stuff as he went. That was enough but for how long?

XxX

They trained almost every day. Alex was getting better at it but she still didn't trust herself enough. The image of what she was capable of doing with the power was always present in the back of her mind.

"A nice small fire, you're doing great. Hold it for another minute," Clint ordered. They did this repeatedly to train her focus. So far she managed to hold the pulsing ball of energy for seven minutes. One more and she would break her personal record.

Alexandra closed her eyes to enhance her focus, it helped. The energy not only held, it grew, engulfing her whole hand up to the elbow in what looked like vibrating blue streaks of light crawling around her hands. She didn't realize the magnitude of her power as long as her eyes were closed.

"Alex, slow it down. You're thinking too much," Clint warned her and took a cautious step back.

She didn't understand so she looked up, freezing upon seeing her hand.

"No, no, no," she muttered frantically at the growing energy. As her stress rose, the energy grew with it.

"Look at me Alex!" He risked a step closer, his arms outstretched. "Let go of the fear, nothing can hurt you here. You're alright. Just imagine it disappearing. Like a mist. It's as simple as that."

She stared at him with her eyes wide open. It stopped growing as she got her emotions into order but it didn't disappear either.

"It's too big- I can't." It was the biggest amount of the energy she had ever had on her arm. It was too much.

"Yes, you can. You have to believe it."

She closed her eyes again, tuning out Clint's voice. Her dreams showed her that she could control it when she was younger, at least to some extent. She imagined herself just smaller, opening and closing her palm to show her mother the new trick she had learned. But this time it was a better trick. Nevertheless, still a trick she could control. She closed her hand and reopened her eyes. It was gone.

Clint caught her in his arms before she hit the ground. She was exhausted, emotionally and physically strained. They survived it this time but what about the next time she couldn't control herself? Would it end like that time in the park? Would she kill Clint eventually? What then?

"Oh, Alex. We're just starting, it will get better. At least you're not turning to a green beast. That ain't pretty." Clint was always trying to cheer her up but lately not a single of his jokes worked. She was beyond helping.

"I can't do this anymore," she sobbed. Clint didn't say anything, he only hugged her tighter.

XxX

'How did my life end up here?' James Mont thought bitterly as he dodged yet another bullet.

He got out of his cell easily enough. All it took was faking a stomachache and knocking out the careless guard. It was really way too easy if you asked him. The hard part was getting out of the facility itself. Luckily, it wasn't the first time he was inside, although a first time as an inmate.

The gate was just out of his reach. The guards were hot on his tail but he sped up. It was now or never. He couldn't waste a single second. Not caring about the bullets flying over his head, he run straight for the gate. It was closing slowly but he managed to slip through it just as it closed. He was out.


	8. The Forgetting

They had been training for weeks and no matter what method Clint tried, eventually nothing worked. It soon became apparent that he couldn't help her learn the control. Nevertheless, Clint still tried to come up with something. Anything, to help her.

Alexandra was growing more and more frustrated with every day. She no longer smiled and Clint stopped joking altogether. It was no use. She didn't want to. For Clint, it was enough that he got her to eat regularly.

Today, Clint had decided, was the day when they wouldn't train. She deserved a break and so did he. When he told her of his day's plans, she didn't object, though she wasn't sure who needed the break more, her or him.

"Can we order pizza? Sorry Clint, but I'm sick and tired of eating macaroni every day," she said as the lunchtime neared. He wasn't about to decline, especially if it would raise her mood. Anything to raise her mood. It was getting harder and harder to look to her empty eyes.

"You know what, I'll go grab it myself." Clint took his brown leather jacket from where it was hanging by the door and snatched few banknotes from the jar on the table. He could use some fresh air.

Alexandra didn't comment on his quick leave. He was understanding and patient but she was wearing him down. She wasn't an easy, complying student. It wasn't just the training that got to both of them. For the sake of it, Clint moved in - it hadn't been all sunshine and rainbows.

Deep down, Alex knew why he insisted on living with her. Claiming it was to keep an eye on her and train was just a formality. They both knew he was there so she wouldn't wander off and accidentally kill someone - or herself.

Without Clint's constant banter the house was silent. She didn't know what to do about it. The silence was almost uncomfortable. Alex shook her head, it was a ridiculous thought. It was just silence.

She stood up to clean the place a little, wash the dishes. As her hand touched the handle of the kitchen door, the static kicked her finger. It didn't hurt, however it was unexpected and left her with a racing heart. For a split-second, she imagined the blue energy snaking around her hand.

She screamed in frustration when she realized it was just static and not her power. Why was it always something with her power? She screamed again and then again, until her throat was sore and her cheeks wet with fresh tears. She slid down the wall and continued crying. She didn't want to live like this - this wasn't living.

Not even Clint wanted to be there with her, using the very first opportunity to get away. She was left alone.

Alex jumped to her feet as the window on the other side of the house shattered. She knew that they had found them.

She ran to the kitchen counter, taking a knife and turned around, wiping her eyes. She waited with the knife in a tight hold in both of her hands. But no one was coming.

Suddenly a white smoke blew from under the door. She dropped the knife with a clatter and tried to escape through the window. A hand stopped her before she managed to open the latch. It didn't take long for her to lose consciousness. The last thing she saw was a dark gas mask and blond hair.

XxX

Clint prided himself on being patient. He would make a pathetic excuse of an agent if he wasn't patient but waiting for almost half an hour for a single pizza was a little far-fetched. It better be delicious or else he was going to complain. He wouldn't mind that much if there were actual customers inside the restaurant, that would be a valid reason but he was the only person inside.

Now that he thought of it, even the waiter went into the kitchen at least ten minutes ago and hadn't come out since. And hadn't been there a young couple sitting by the door when he arrived? It was almost like the area was cleared.

Slowly, as if not to raise anyone's suspicion, Clint walked to the door. It was locked, notifying him that it was a trap. All he had wanted was to get pizza and he would be on his way, but no. Apparently, he didn't deserve a break.

Clint sighed irritated, as a dart hit the back of his neck. He didn't need to guess it was some sleeping shit. He found himself on the ground, out cold, in seconds.

Next thing he knew he was tied to a chair in a room with metal walls. He had been in a room like this before, although he rarely got to be in the chair. It didn't take him long to figure out what had happened. Hydra found them. They should have stayed on move, but instead they settled down so Alex could get a hold of her powers. He wondered if they got to her first and if they did, if she managed to get away, with or without her power.

An electronic voice, that sounded painfully similar to J.A.R.V.I.S., announced a man entering. However, Clint was positive this had nothing to do with Iron Man or Tony Stark.

"Agent 0793. Access granted," said the computer.

Clint kept his composure as Mont walked in with a shit eating grin. It was all he could do to not spit on the Hydra agent. Clint hated to even look at the man but he had to admit that he was rather wrong in always underestimating Mont. He seemed to be a capable man. After all, he was supposed to be rotting in prison.

"If it just isn't my favorite archer. I should have known it was you helping Alexandra. You seem to be drawn to such a raw power and to be honest, she isn't that hard on the eye."

Clint said nothing.

"Not feeling chatty today? It doesn't matter, I can do all the talking." Mont leaned on the wall casually. He had something in his hand that immediately caught Clint's attention.

"Oh, this?" Mont flipped the object in his hand. "I have this..." he pushed a button on what Clint now recognized to be a remote control, "so that I can show you something."

The wall to Clint's right started to lose color. At first, he could only make out shapes, people walking around something big in the middle. Then, with a horrifying realization, the wall cleared, now fully transparent and revealed unconscious Alexandra strapped to a massive chair with a strange machine on the top.

"Alex, dear, can't handle the power inside her. She isn't an asset but a liability. She needs to be stopped, for now, until Hydra finds a proper use for her."

"You found a way to block it again," Clint concluded.

"It wasn't easy, but yes."

"How?" He needed to know if there was any way of ever getting her power back.

"That's not important. Hydra still has the equipment that was used on Winter Soldier. Little modification here and there and voila."

At the mention of Winter Soldier Clint started to struggle against his ties. The man suffered greatly when his memories were being erased, Clint wouldn't let them do the same to Alex.

"No need to tire yourself, I made sure you're not getting anywhere. Let's just enjoy the show, shall we?" Clint tried to free himself again but the cuffs wouldn't budge. He was useless.

"Begin the procedure," Mont said into a comm. A doctor on the other side of the wall curtly nodded and moved to stand behind Alexandra. He closed the machine over her head and gave another nod to a doctor by the computer.

A light came from the machine, accompanied by a whirring sound. Clint could only watch as every memory she had of him and the time they had spent together was stripped away from her as well as her power.

"You know, maybe I get reassigned to her, date her again. She was pain in the ass, but hot pain in the ass," Mont chuckled. Clint would have punched that stupid grin off his face if he could move.

Clint cast his eyes to the ground, unable to continue watching. In just few minutes, she would forget. Maybe he should let her go. Reminding her of himself meant telling her how they had met and it wasn't a particularly nice story. Maybe she was better off without him in her life. Without the power. Without the guilt. How could he destroy her only chance of ever getting her normal, ordinary life back? Something she deserved?

In that instant, Clint decided.

XxX

Alexandra groaned as the loud beeping of an alarm clock woke her up. She fought the urge to smack that annoying little thing - alarm clocks were expensive.

Dark green walls filled her vision as she stumbled off her bed, dragging the covers to the ground. She couldn't care less as she shuffled to the bathroom. She brushed her short hair, pondering when she had had them cut and dyed. She shrugged it off, she must have been too busy to remember the exact day.

Once refreshed, she thought back to the alarm clock. Why would she set it every morning if she was unemployed? It only worsened her already bad mood. Being unemployed sucked. She needed to find the job before the landlord threw her out for not being able to pay the rent.

She tried calling her grandma. The woman had many friends all around. Old classmate here, friend's niece there. If anyone could know about a possible vacancy, it was her grandmother. Alex was getting tired of her fleeting life in New York. She found a sudden desire to live in a place surrounded by nature.

She walked to the subway in a hurry. Her ride was leaving in two minutes. She knocked into someone's shoulder. "Jesus, I'm sorry."

An attractive blonde smiled down at her. "It's alright, miss. I should've been watching where I was going."

She returned the smile but didn't say more and hurried away. There was something unsettling about that tall man.

The ride was long and boring but she looked forward to seeing her granny. She couldn't remember the last time she had visited.

She thanked the god when the bus stopped. Finally, some fresh air. However, something was different. There weren't many people around. Odd. There was always someone, either kids playing on the streets or people walking their dogs.

An eerie silence accompanied her as she walked down the streets of her hometown. Occasionally she would notice a curtain move, but that was it. What baffled her the most were the police tapes around the park in the center of the town. It looked terrible. Grandma would surely call her if something happened, right?

She stopped briefly by the candles and pictures on the ground where the park ended. There were flowers as well, the kind you bring to the funeral. The sight made something in her whirl. She hurried to her grandmother's house. She would get some answers there.

There was a sign 'For sale' on the front yard. "What the..."

Alexandra slowly approached the house. What was going on? Her grandmother loved that house, she had been refusing to sell it for years. Alex tried to make her see reason, that the house was old and too big for her, but her grandma always argued that it was the memories not the house itself that mattered.

She registered a tingling sensation on the back of her neck and freaked out that there was a bee, but she couldn't see anything, in fact, she couldn't feel anything. Her knees buckled and she fell.

XxX

Alexandra shot up from her bed with a start. She needed a minute to calm down and regain her breath. She had the strangest nightmare. She, her hands, were burning but it didn't hurt. It was almost soothingly chilly.

She still had some time till her alarm clock went off but doubted she would be able to fall asleep with the headache she had. Weird, she hadn't been drinking in a long time. She should go for a walk more often.

Alex took her laptop and checked her mail. Surprisingly, there was a message from her grandma. It didn't happen often, but she had sent her an email on occasion. Alex opened it right away. She had to read it the second time. Her granny was flying to Europe to travel? Well, why not. Alex replied to her, wishing her safe journey and hoping to receive many photos.

Next, she searched for a job. She really needed to find one before she run out of rent money. There were many free vacancies in New York, but for some reason, she found herself looking at job far from here. Maybe she needed a change. It was hard to explain, but her apartment hadn't felt like home lately.

And so, the decision was made. Alex was moving.

She needed to take a bus to the town in order to check out the apartment she was interested in. She wasn't about to buy without seeing it with her own eyes.

She was among the first people in the bus. It would be a long trip and so she was ready with a book in her hand. As the bus was about to leave from the station, a tall blond stopped by her. "Excuse me, is this seat taken?" he asked politely.

"Um, no," she replied quickly. She didn't want to sit with anybody but it would be rude to forbid him from sitting down.

"Where you heading?" the stranger asked with a smile. He was attractive, yes, but she didn't feel like starting anything now that she was moving away.

"Sorry, I got something going on," she said and lifted the book in her hands to make it obvious that she was not interested in any friendly chat.

"Yeah, right."

The man didn't say anything else and exited the bus at the next stop. She was low key glad he did. He was weirding her out.

The house was great, she especially liked the dark purple walls in the bedroom. Not the mention how close it was to the restaurant where she applied for a job. The owner was a nice older man who made a deal with her. He wouldn't sell the house until she knew she got the job. Everything was perfect. She would have a job with a good salary, nice and cozy house with an affordable rent and most importantly, she would be far away from New York and all the drama that went with living there.

XxX

Clint, now officially retired, moved to a house in a rather small town. It wasn't as close to New York as he would like but still in an alright distance. He might have been retired as far as the formal documents went, but as soon as something happened, he would receive a call. New York was like a beacon for aliens and that kind of stuff. It was just a matter of time before anything went down.

He walked from the shop to his house, the grocery bags in his hands and a dog trailing beside him. He had adopted the dog right after he moved in. It seemed like the right thing to do. Now that he wouldn't be flying from one mission to another, he could afford to take care of another creature. And when he saw that pleading brown eyes and wiggling golden tail, he couldn't say no. Hence, he got a new dog - Lucky.

Clint balanced the bags in one hand and unlocked the door with the other. Lucky immediately run past him and settled himself in his favorite spot - Clint's couch.

He rolled his eyes with an affection, thinking that at least the dog didn't occupy his bed. He wasn't sure if he would be able to resist those brown eyes. He poured fresh water into Lucky's bowl, put away the groceries and left the house. There was one more thing Clint had to do that day. It was the time to visit an old friend.

A lot of time passed since he and Alexandra were captured. She walked out of there with a memory loss and Clint with few bruises. Throughout the weeks, Clint continued watching her and so did Hydra. They visited her just once when she became suspicious about her grandmother. Since then, she was left alone. She had a steady job, home. Clint was just a stranger from her neighborhood.

The bell above his head rang as he entered the restaurant where she worked at. He found a seat at the back, finding the most convenient and safe place became an instinct.

He watched her approach the table he chose. Her hair was back to their natural black color, although still not as long as when they had first met.

"Good evening, sir. Are you ready to order?" Alexandra asked with a polite smile. She smiled more often nowadays.

"Any recommendations?" he said with smile of his own.

"We got some great pies. A piece of cherry pie with a latte for a special price. But let me guess, you're more of the black coffee type?"

"Exactly. One cherry pie and black coffee, then." They could erase her memories but there were things that she recalled. Hunches or intuition, whatever she called it, that part she was supposed to forget was still there, deep down.

"Coming right up," she said and walked back to the counter.

Clint watched her work while he enjoyed the pie. He paid for his order and left. He was taking it slow.

He had learned her daily schedule by heart. It sounded like he was some kind of stalker and maybe watching her made him one but he couldn't help it. If Hydra showed up again, Alex was defenseless without her powers. He had to stay alert for her. He was the only wall separating Alexandra and Hydra and he intended to be prepared the next time they came.

He would be there for here even if she had no idea who he was. She had no one but him now and she didn't even know. He had sacrificed the friendship they had built between them. He never got the opportunity to say it out loud or even admitted it to himself but he liked the sarcastic Alex maybe more than was appropriate for a friend. But she was struggling and there was always something going on... maybe this time around it would be different.

Clint put a hoodie over his head so she wouldn't accidentally spot his face and waited for her to leave the restaurant. He was on the other side of the road and kept quite a distance between them but he was close enough. She had a night shift twice a week and every time, Clint waited until her shift ended so he could make sure she arrived home safely. There was a bar nearby and he wouldn't risk any drunken creep following her. She had been through enough, even if the memories weren't there. No need to make new, unpleasant ones.

He leaned on the wall, watching her from the corner of the street. She was almost at her house, there was no need to follow her anymore. He could see her just fine from where he stood.

Once she locked the door, he would leave and get back to his empty house. Besides Lucky, there would be no one to keep his company. It made him miss the nights they wasted playing cards until the stroke of midnight.

"This is not the end," he muttered to himself with a speck of hope on his tongue as she disappeared into the building.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic was previously posted on ff.net and I had a beta BookFanatic12 (her name on ff.net) who I am very grateful for. I decided to post it here as well because as of late I am starting to like AO3 way more. 
> 
> Thanks for reading everyone :)


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